AITAH I overheard my mom and sister talking trash about my wife, I want to confront or cut them off

Yes, my adult mother said cringe. I am still processing how to feel about it. This happened on Christmas eve. We were at my family’s home. I don’t know if I will ever go back there. My wife took a break to go for a long walk and pop over to her mom’s house that is only a mile or two away. I went into the garage to also take a break and the door was cracked so I could hear them talking. I sat there for about 10 minutes while they dumped on my wife, and a little bit me as well.

Reasons include:

• when we went outside to leave, my wife looked up at the sky and smiled and said hello to the moon. They mocked her saying it.
• when the sun was setting she said we should come look (Yes, of course I did, she has never asked me to get up and look at a sunrise or sunset that wasn’t 100% worth it. One of the best things she has given me is the thought to look more and appreciate my surroundings.)
• she holds coffee cups with both hands wrapped around them and this is apparently cringe?
• she has a braid of hair she wraps with different colored string and does holiday colors. My mom said it was “sooooo tacky”
• she wears holiday themed earrings like jingle bells or peppermint candies and that is also cringe
• she wears “weird” outfits and tells people she got her clothes at a thrift store if that’s where she got them. I don’t think her clothes are weird. She was wearing a plaid skirt, white top, and a silly cardigan with snowmen and stuff embroidered on.
• they were talking about ozempic at dinner because my mom and sister are on it and they said they could get it for my wife and they were offended she said “i’m happy with my weight” because, according to them, she needs to lose 20lbs and it made her seem pretentious. They were also like “did you see how much she ate” with gagging.
• she always asks for a smaller fork
• she one time said she thinks a celebrity my sister is a mega fan might be gay, and my sister brought it up and somehow found it extremely offensive and called my wife “psycho” and “disgusting” over it (she is a hypocrite because she used to talk about this ALL the time with other celebrities somehow her favorite is just not allowed)
• she doesn’t get her clothes professionally tailored which has always been an issue with them, something they brought up before we got married
• She read over 100 books this year and they think that’s “cringe” how she also always brings a book with her in her purse. They said “does she not have any friends”
• “speaking of her purse did you see what she was carrying” it was a kate spade bag… I thought kate spade was designer. I was the one who got it for her….
• She had “blank nails” and I guess she has the type of hands where she should really wear fake nails to elongate them?
• My sister kept saying “cus she’s a QUIRKY” girl with weird inflection

Now I know you’re going to say, why would you sit there and listen to people bash the woman you love. Number one, if she had been there I wouldn’t have. But it was also a surprise for me because aside from the closeted celebrity thing and off the rack clothes, no one has ever expressed disliking her before. I was very confused because I also had to wonder, was I missing obvious signs before. I felt bad because what if I was one of those guys who was obliviously letting their wife get pummeled by their family emotionally. I would be so upset with myself if I let that happen.

I left abruptly and went to my mother in law’s house to be with my wife. Later on I asked her if my family has ever made her feel uncomfortable and she just didn’t tell me to avoid drama. She was hesitant to answer and then she said that my sister might have anonymously harassed her about the celebrity but she never had proof it was her so she never said anything. But she doesn’t go on social media except to see pictures from her friend circle, she’s never talked about that celebrity online so she doesn’t know why anyone else would have. She said she also noticed my mom making a face at her outfits when she takes off her coat but she knows my mom is very into appearances.

I did not tell my wife any of what they said at least yet. I don’t know what to do next. I am giving myself time to process. People are allowed to have their opinions I get that. But I am really sad that they would say all those things about her like this. I get now why for example my sister tried to sell her handbag and shoes to her all the time.

Would I be the asshole to call mom and say “I heard the things you said about my wife at Christmas Eve. I am beyond disappointed to find out how catty and mean you two were about someone who has only ever wanted to be a part of this family. Please do not contact me again unless it is to apologize for the horrible things you said and for being superficial and childish to boot.”

And if I do that my instinct is to tell my wife the truth but not the things they said. Just say “I overheard some things they said and it disgusted me.”