Am I the a-hole for making my daughter’s BF buy a new t-shirt?
Ok, can you please settle a mild dispute for my family!
The 23rd of December, my daughter’s (19), BF (19), came for dinner. We had a dinner then, because he’s going away with his family for Christmas. He arrived, rang the bell, and I answered the door. He came in, took off his jacket, and that’s when I saw IT! He was wearing a t-shirt that said, “It’s not gonna suck itself”. I took one look at that shirt and asked him if he had any money. He said no, and asked why? I told him that the shirt showed a marked lack of respect for both my daughter and my wife. I pulled 2 twenties out of my wallet, and quietly ushered him back out the door, and towards the Walmart 3 miles away, and told him to buy a more respectful shirt, andvcome back with it on. Mind you, this whole exchange took place between him and I, without an audience. He was gone for 15 minutes, came back with a nice polo shirt on. We had a nice dinner together, and nothing was mentioned of the incident. The next day, my daughter came to me and he mother, and told us what I did, humiliated him. They aren’t in breakup territory or anything, and no yelling or anything of the sort went on. My wife did tell me I could have handled it different. So, Reddit, am I wrong for handling it this way, and, if so, how could I have handled it?
Small edit: I’m 57, and a long haul truck driver, so I’ve had my share of bad moments. Most of us guys here can remember stupid things that we did as a teen, even into our 20’s. The ones that stand out for me, are the ones where someone didn’t react with anger, or malice. They were the ones that someone reacted with constructive kindness, one where a quiet redemption was offered, where a mirror was quietly held up to my behavior. Those are the ones I learned from, and appreciated the most. Hopefully, he comes out the other side with a new appreciation for kindness offered quietly, and without fanfare. Just my thoughts.
