ETA: I didn’t add that when they came in the past, they are typically not very helpful and come with a sort of entitled mindset. At baseline, I am a very generous person and pride myself in being a good host and I sincerely think they are taking advantage of that.
‘”AITA for Not Wanting My Husband’s Sister and Her Kids to Stay With Us Again?”
I need some judgment here. So, my husband, let’s call him Mike, and I live near the coast in our cozy two-bedroom apartment. We’ve got two kids, aged 6 and 3, a solid routine, and life is generally good. But every year, Mike’s sister, let’s call her Lisa, descends upon our home like a tornado with her two uncontrollable kids, aged 7 and 9, turning our peaceful home into a war zone.
Last weekend was the final straw. Mike and I had planned a romantic evening. Kids were in bed, dinner was ready, wine was about to be poured, and then—ring ring—the phone goes off. It’s Lisa, letting us know she and her kids would be here the next morning. Plans canceled. Again.
They show up at 9 AM, not the afternoon like they said. Our place is chaos in minutes. Lisa’s kids are tearing through my son’s meticulously built Lego creations, scribbling on our walls with markers, and even managed to damage our new laminate flooring with a hammer.
And what does Lisa do? She plops on the couch, grabs the remote, and starts demanding coffee, criticizing our parenting, and watching TV. When Mike suggested taking the kids to the beach to give me a break, Lisa refused because her “favorite show” was coming on. Instead, Mike had to entertain them with games while I cooked and cleaned up after everyone.
Lisa paid zero attention to her kids. They were running wild, pulling cushions off the sofa, throwing food around, and leaving a trail of destruction. I found her youngest smearing peanut butter on the curtains, and when I pointed it out to Lisa, she just shrugged and said, “Kids will be kids.”
The breaking point was when Lisa yelled at my 6-year-old for “not being able to speak properly” during a game, which brought him to tears. Mike finally lost it and told her to help me in the kitchen. Lisa’s response? “Why should I? You’re the host.” She stormed off but didn’t lift a finger.
To make matters worse, Lisa’s kids trashed our place. They drew on the walls, spilled juice on the carpet, and somehow managed to break a lamp. When I confronted Lisa, she laughed it off, saying, “You should have put those things away if you didn’t want them broken.”
The minute they left, Mike and I knew this couldn’t happen again. We spent the whole day cleaning and fixing things, and I could see how upset Mike was. He promised me that Lisa and her kids would never stay with us again, and honestly, I’m holding him to it. So, AITA for putting my foot down and not wanting Lisa and her kids to stay with us ever again?
Here’s what top commenters had to say about this one:
dheffe01 said:
NTA, but honestly you should have kicked her out after about an hour of that BS.
Irishtemper98 said:
NTA for refusing to let her stay again. However, you’re both AH for putting up with it in the first place. There is zero chance I’d ever let this happen in my home.
MrsGoldenSnitch said:
YTA for not growing a spine sooner.
Maximum-Ear1745 said:
They did a lot of damage. I don’t understand why you didn’t demand they leave much earlier. Your husband is an AH for allowing his sister to treat you and your home so poorly. NTA.
madpeachiepie said:
Why did you let them in your house? Why didn’t you tell her that she was not, in fact, coming over the next day? You have more control in this situation than you think you do, and it sounds like you’ve figured that out, which is great. NTA
Also, if she can yell at your kids, why aren’t you yelling at hers? If anyone acted like that in my home, kids or adults, they’d be hearing about it immediately. I don’t care whose kids they are.
schur-schur said:
Send her an invoice for all the damages. She won’t want to come over anymore after that, and you’d set your boundaries.
