“AITA for refusing to let my sister adopt my baby after she called me ‘unfit’?”

I (27F) got pregnant unexpectedly after a short relationship. The father isn’t involved, but I decided to keep the baby. My family has been supportive — except for my older sister (34F), who has been struggling with infertility for years.

From the moment she found out I was pregnant, she kept making comments like, “It’s not fair that you get to be a mom when you’re not even married.” She even suggested multiple times that I let her and her husband adopt my baby since they’re “better equipped” to raise a child. I shut that down every time.

After my son was born, she came to visit and started crying when she held him. I felt bad until she said, “He should have been mine. You can’t provide what he needs like we can.” I told her she was way out of line, and she exploded, calling me selfish for “hoarding” the baby while she’s “destined to be childless.”

I asked her to leave, and now she’s telling our family that I’m “heartless” and “ruining her only chance at being a mom.” Some relatives think I should “at least consider it” since being a single mom is hard. AITA?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Big-Summer-

The sister has clearly developed severe mental problems, most likely from dealing with infertility. Frankly, I’d be more than a little frightened of her.

Financial_Peanut4383

Or an auntie or anything else that would bring her in contact with baby or OP. This just screams ‼️DANGER ‼️DANGER ‼️ DANGER ‼️

z00k33per0304

A lot of people would rather placate the one making the noise than tell them to do some self reflection? Or OP is the squirrel in the nuthouse and everybody is living with a skewed sense of what’s right.

Yes, being a single mother is hard but nowhere near impossible. Anybody not suggesting the sister get help shouldn’t be anywhere near the baby. I’d be worried one of them might “accidentally” sneak her the door out to sister.

Jenga112

I feel like she will call CPS and make up stuff to get the baby.

dulcept

This happened to a family member that I have but was a sister in law. Her brother was lost to addiction and his wife asked the family for a small amount of help- food, diapers, etc. while she got on her feet.

The sister in law said if she gave her baby!!! to her permanently to raise as her own that since they were well off that he would never want for anything. She told her, if you really love him you’ll give him to me. Seriously what is wrong with people.

MillieRover

If I love and care for my child and I’m spoken to like that, she would no longer be my sister unless she can get therapy and sort that shit out.

If she’s willing to adopt, why does it have to be the adoption of your child? NTA

10 days later OP came back with this update:

Thank you to everyone who weighed in — even those who disagreed. A lot has happened since my original post, so here’s the update.

After I kicked my sister out, she ramped up the drama. She started posting cryptic messages on social media about “selfish people” and “babies in the wrong hands.” Then, she went full tilt, outright claiming that I was neglecting my son and that CPS should step in. She didn’t tag me, but everyone in our circle knew who she was talking about.

I was furious but also scared, so I started documenting everything: texts, social media posts, and anything she said to other family members. I also spoke to a lawyer to make sure my rights were secure and to prepare for any crazy moves on her part.

Then came the final straw. She showed up at my house unannounced with her husband, claiming they just wanted to “talk.” I refused to let them in, and my sister yelled through the door, “You’re ruining this baby’s life!” Her husband tried to guilt me, saying, “We’d give him a better future, and you know it.” I told them to leave or I’d call the police.

After that, I decided to go low contact with her and anyone who sided with her. My parents initially tried to mediate, but when I showed them all the messages and screenshots, they finally backed me up. Now, they’re furious with my sister, especially since she’s still spreading lies about me.

I also reached out to CPS preemptively to let them know about the situation, just in case she tried anything. They assured me there was no issue as long as my baby was safe and well cared for — which he absolutely is.

As of now, I’ve cut my sister out of my life completely. She’s still telling anyone who will listen that I’m “selfish” and “ruining her life,” but I’m done engaging. My focus is on my son, who’s happy, healthy, and exactly where he belongs.

Thanks again for the support — it gave me the confidence to stand my ground. For anyone else dealing with entitled family members, trust your instincts and protect your peace.

Here’s what people had to say after the update:

Due-Yoghurt4916

Move forward with a restraining order. This is not done.

Quiet-Hamster6509

Unfortunately for you, you may have to advise your parents that this child cannot be in their care for any length of time if they’re even considering letting your sister visit/see him. They may go behind your back because “they feel sad for her”. While they’re on your team now, down the track, they may waiver. Stand firm, you’re being an amazing mother.

AffectionateCable793

Continue keeping track of her unhinged behaviour. If she ever tries to adopt, reach out to CPS again and raise your concerns about her being an unfit parent and possible manipulation of the birth mother to try to get a child.

Consistent-Primary41

You need a lawyer, stat. You need to sue her for defamation of character for the slanderous/libelous behaviour, and you need the guidance of an attorney to get an emergency RO against her.

The longer she’s allowed to explore this delusion, the more empowered she will be to harm you or your child. She needs to face IMMEDIATE consequences before this gains any momentum.