AITA for telling my menopausal wife that she looks like she’s 50 years old ?
I’m (53m) most likely the asshole. I think my wife (53f) is gorgeous. I think she looks more beautiful now than the day I married her. We’ve been privileged that we have money, so we’ve able to take care of our health. She’s in good shape. She gets a lot of compliments.
But the annoying thing is recently she keeps putting down other women’s looks behind their backs. She will pick at every perceived flaw. She talks about how she’s more beautiful and looks younger than other women. I have told her it’s not nice but she said she’s just being honest. As I said before, I think my wife is gorgeous. She also has wrinkles and age spots, since she’s 53.
One day, my wife and I had ran into a former colleague of mine, who’s a woman in her 30s. As soon as we reached home, my wife was talking about how she’s more beautiful and looks younger than the colleague. I told my wife that I think she’s more beautiful than the colleague but she looks like a 50 year old woman.
My wife looked shattered. She started saying that she’s going through menopause and that her body is breaking down. I told her I think she’s beautiful and sexy. I tried to hug her but she moved away. She asked why would I want to seduce an old woman. She then got angry and said in a crude way maybe I’m having relations with my former colleague. Out of the blue, she said that maybe I’m having relations with a woman in her 20s.
Then even more out of the blue, she said she’s white and I’m not so that’s why she looks much older than me. I asked her where did that come from. She started crying and she said I’m shaming her for aging. She’s been really upset ever since. Am I the asshole ?
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP’s initial post:
As soon as I finished reading the post I thought “This woman needs a therapist AND a health care provider that specialises in menopause STAT!!!”
I agree, but to add on top of this if she is going through menopause she could be experiencing anything from changes in weight, skin texture, hair loss to mood swings, brain fog, depression and anxiety etc. All that compounding on top of existing insecurities has the potential to make someone really spiral.
(Although I have enjoyed pointing out some folks in the current administration that are the same age as me but look way older…)
