• Am I The A’hole? (AITA)
  • AITA for asking my wife to please do NOT wear visible star-shaped pimple patches to a wedding ?

    First things first, I (41m) love my wife (43f). I think my wife is a gorgeous woman with gorgeous skin. My wife has struggled with cystic acne her whole teenage and adult life. She’s a teacher at an all-girls private high school and my wife would wear visible star-shaped pimple patches (without makeup) in class to help the students feel more comfortable. I think that’s wonderful in that context. Also, I honestly think my wife looks cute wearing those pimple patches.
    Une jeune femme anxieuse se regarde dans le miroir, inquiète des rides ou de l'acné
    But thing is, our daughter (13f) is struggling with cystic acne just like her mom. My daughter, wife, and I are going to my sister’s (37f) wedding. My wife wants to go wearing visible star-shaped pimples patches without makeup. My daughter has told me she doesn’t want people there paying extra attention her mom’s acne since they may then pay extra attention to her acne as well. Also, my sister is laid back but I think she wouldn’t want one of her guests to wear very visible pimple patches.
    Without bringing up our daughter’s concerns since she didn’t me to tell her mom this, I asked my wife to please do NOT wear very visible pimple patches to my wedding. She got upset with me and is now questioning my previous statements when I had told her that she looks cute with them. I had mentions my concerns of how my sister may feel. I thought that would be enough but it wasn’t.

    AITA for Asking My Wife Not to Wear Star-Shaped Pimple Patches to a Wedding?

    A husband questioning whether he was wrong for asking his wife not to wear star-shaped pimple patches to a wedding has divided opinions across AITA discussions.

    A simple request before a family wedding turned into a surprising argument — all over star-shaped acne patches.

    The Backstory: A Family Who Lives With Acne

    A 41-year-old husband says he genuinely loves how his 43-year-old wife embraces her skin.
    She has battled cystic acne her whole life and works as a teacher at an all-girls school.

    To help students feel comfortable with their own skin challenges, she often wears cute, visible star-shaped pimple patches in class without makeup — and students love it.

    He believes it’s sweet and empowering.
    Their 13-year-old daughter also struggles with acne, just like her mom.

    The Moment Things Shifted Before the Wedding

    The husband’s sister is getting married.
    His wife plans to attend wearing her usual star-shaped patches — fully visible, no makeup.

    Their daughter quietly tells her dad she doesn’t want extra attention on her mom’s acne, because it might draw attention to her own. She feels self-conscious and doesn’t want people whispering.

    She asks her dad not to tell her mother she said this.

    Caught in the middle, the husband gently asks his wife not to wear the patches to the wedding.
    He frames it as respect for the wedding atmosphere and his sister’s preference — not mentioning their daughter’s insecurity.

    The Final Confrontation

    His wife becomes upset.

    She reminds him that he always said she looks cute with the patches.
    She feels judged and wonders why suddenly it’s a problem.

    The husband sticks to his reasoning but now wonders whether he handled it wrong — and whether hiding their daughter’s concern made things worse.

    The Fallout

    Tension rises between the husband and wife.
    The daughter avoids the conversation entirely.
    Now the husband is asking: Was he rude or just trying to protect his daughter?

    What Reddit Thinks

    Most commenters lean toward NTA (Not the Asshole) — but with caveats.

    Likely reactions:

    “NTA — your daughter is in a fragile stage. Asking for one makeup-free day at school is great, but weddings are a different environment.”

    “Soft ESH — you should really tell your wife the truth. She would probably respond more kindly knowing it came from her daughter.”

    “NAH — mom is trying to normalize acne, dad is trying to protect their child. This is a communication issue, not a villain issue.”

    A Final Thought

    Is honesty the missing piece here?
    Sometimes a conflict isn’t about appearance — it’s about how unseen insecurities quietly shape family dynamics.

    Should the husband tell his wife their daughter asked for this, or should the daughter learn to voice concerns directly?

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