“AITA for thinking the groom is being disrespectful to his fiancée and my girlfriend by uninviting me from the wedding two weeks before it happens?”
I (21M) have been dating my girlfriend (21F) for 4 years. Her best friend is getting married and my girlfriend is the maid of honor. She has been planning this wedding for over a year has put in a TON of time, effort, and her own money into it.
Since day one I was invited. It’s a destination wedding so we already booked a room and I took time off work just to go. One of the only things my girlfriend asked for in return for all the work she’s done was that I come with her. She was really proud of helping plan this wedding and wanted me there.
About two weeks before the wedding, the bride told my girlfriend that I’m no longer invited. She said the groom didn’t want me there. That’s it. No explanation. Back when I was 14 I had a girlfriend I’ll call her Alison. She cheated on me at a party with the groom. Multiple people told me it happened so I messaged him back then just asking if it was true.
His response was basically “if your girl cheated that’s your problem not mine.” I told him I wasn’t trying to start anything and just wanted to know if it happened. He just kept saying “not my problem.” That was SIX years ago and we were literal CHILDREN.
So after finding out my invite was revoked I messaged him privately and asked if this was about that situation. He straight up said yes and said “me and you have problems and I don’t want you at my wedding.” I told him I don’t have any problems with him at all and that this was so long ago when we were just dumb 14 year olds and I want to make it clear I do not hold a grudge against either of them.
Then it gets worse… I find out Alison (the ex who cheated on me WITH HIM) is actually going to the wedding. The bride has no idea about any of this she doesn’t know why he doesn’t want me there, doesn’t know about his past with Alison, and doesn’t even know how they know each other.
I want to be clear I don’t think I’m entitled to go to anyone’s wedding. It’s their day they can invite or uninvite whoever they want. I honestly don’t care that much about not going.
What I care about is how disrespectful this feels to my amazing girlfriend who has put over a year into this wedding and her ONE request was that I be there. Now it’s two weeks out, money is spent, time has been taken off, and she’s hurt and confused
Me and my girlfriend both agree this is SO disrespectful to the bride because she doesn’t know why I’m not invited and she has no idea why the groom wants Alison there or the groom and Alison’s past relationship. So AITA for thinking the groom is being disrespectful to my girlfriend and his future wife?
This is what people had to say to OP:
2024notyurbiz said:
I might accidentally ask i a group text… Are you still holding a grudge over Allison from back in the day? Then let his bride put the pieces together….
CatJarmansPants said:
So, he’s obviously a massive twat, and has appalling manners – if he didn’t want you there that should have been made clear when your GF was asked to be a bridesmaid, and long before anyone started spending money and time on this sh!t show.
I think this is a thing for your GF to handle – presumably she’s close to the bride, so she should ask (innocently, of course) why you’ve been disinvited at such a late stage, and whether it’s anything to do with this girl from the mists of time…
And then withdraw to a safe distance.
