My boy friend and I jave been together just over a year. We’ve had quite a few issues with parenting styles. He knows my history with my ex husband of 17 years( all 4 kids’ dad) he was abusive and a narcissist put me through hell.


He (bf) is constantly talking crap on the kids dad to them and making them feel bad for not knowing where their loyalties lie . I dont like their dad obviously but I dont ever think it’s ok to involve the kids in it. He started making my 4 year old call him dad and anytime he referred to him by his name he would say “thats not my name” and ignore him until he called him dad. He slept in bed with me his whole life then it became a non negotiable even if he woke up scared in the night he would tell him to quit being a baby. And if I tried to co sole him he would say im coddling him and he’s trying to help me raise men not pussies like their dad.
To me there’s a time and place for it and he’s 4. My heart breaks when he’s upset or hurt and BF is always like brush it off your ok…I get it but thats what “dads” are for make the boys tough .moms are there for the comfort and I feel like he is taking that away from me and calls me a bad mom bc of it. Says my kods dont respect me bc they dont get their chores done immediately after school. They are teenagers. I tried explaining to him their Brian development right now and how teens NEED more sleep he’s like then they need to go to bed at 9. Yet he can come home from work and nap for an hour and sleep in all morning on the weekends but my kids are laxy if they do.
When we started dating he dazzled me with how house work is a shared responsibility and at first he was great at helping but then quickly it was not his job its the kids job to clean everything and it should be spotless before he gets home. I dont see why they need to clean the kitchen fully if im coming home to make dinner just for it to need to be cleaned twice maybe thats just me..
AITA ? Or is he overstepping?
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