Edit: I 100% am having a private conversation with them. Which is what I would have wanted them to do. I can, and do stand up for myself. I was caught off guard and honestly pissed. Didn’t want to make everyone uncomfortable at dinner. I realize I could have simply said this or that, but it wouldn’t have come out of my mouth very nice. No, my husband didn’t volunteer me. It’s my sibling.
My Family Assumed I’d Be Their Free Babysitter — Without Asking. AITA?
In this AITA-style story, a parent finally enjoying free time after years of childcare discovers their family assumed they would watch a newborn full-time — without ever asking.
What was supposed to be a warm Thanksgiving dinner quickly turned uncomfortable when family members announced childcare plans for their newborn — plans that involved the storyteller becoming a full-time babysitter she never agreed to.
The Backstory and Early Dynamics
The storyteller is a stay-at-home parent who has spent years raising their children. Now that all the kids are finally in school, they’re experiencing something life-changing: free time.
For the first time in years, mornings are quiet.
There’s space for hobbies.
There’s time to learn, grow, and rediscover an identity outside of parenting.
This newfound freedom isn’t selfish — it’s well-earned.
The Moment Things Shifted
During a Thanksgiving family gathering, relatives were celebrating the arrival of a newborn — an exciting and emotional moment.
Then someone asked the new parents:
“So who’s watching the baby when you go back to work?”
Without hesitation, they responded:
“Oh, [OP] is! She’s home anyway.”
The parent telling the story froze.
They weren’t asked.
They weren’t consulted.
They weren’t even aware this plan existed.
And when everyone turned to smile at them — as if doing unpaid childcare was an obvious privilege — the moment became even more uncomfortable.
The Final Confrontation
There wasn’t a public confrontation.
Instead of calling out the disrespect in front of a table full of food, relatives, and holiday emotions, the storyteller chose restraint. They gave a look that said, We’ll talk later.
Not because they were weak — but because they didn’t want to ruin the holiday or embarrass anyone.
They later confirmed they fully plan to address the situation privately — clearly, respectfully, and firmly.
The Fallout
The storyteller isn’t opposed to being involved in the baby’s life.
They’re not refusing to help.
They simply don’t want — and never agreed — to be a full-time childcare provider.
They’re willing to:
- Help occasionally
- Babysit once in a while
- Support family when needed
But daily, unpaid childcare wasn’t something they volunteered for — and shouldn’t have been assumed.
To make it more complicated, the assumption didn’t even come from their partner — but from their own sibling.
What Reddit Thinks
The most likely verdict from the AITA community?
NTA (Not The A-Hole).
Many would agree assumptions like this cross boundaries.
Sample realistic comments:
“NTA. Being available doesn’t mean being obligated. They need to ask — not assign.”
“NTA. If they need childcare, they should hire someone or discuss it properly.”
“NTA. You’re allowed to protect your time, especially after raising your own kids for years.”
There may be some mixed comments suggesting it was a misunderstanding, but the majority would argue communication and consent are essential — especially when it involves someone’s time and emotional energy.
A Final Thought
This story highlights an important question many families face:
Where is the line between helping out of love — and being expected to sacrifice your time because “you’re family”?
Support should be offered, not demanded.
Respect should be mutual — not assumed.
