My husband and I recently found out we’re pregnant. We are really excited about the news, but want to wait until the end of my first trimester to make sure everything is well with the pregnancy. So we decided to announce our pregnancy at Thanksgiving, when the whole family was together, so that we could tell everyone at once. I only told two people in my family, and I knew that they could keep a secret; besides that, no one else knew. As soon as we made the announcement, one of my sisters broke down crying and was very upset. She wanted to know first and was upset that I didn’t tell her, since she always told me about all her pregnancies first. But my sister cannot keep a secret; she’s a constant gossiper, especially with family. I told her first that I got into graduate school, and she told my parents before I could; she announced my engagement to my mom before I could. So my husband and I decided to keep it a secret, especially until we knew everything was healthy with the baby. I knew if I told her first, she would tell everyone in the family, and it would really upset me if I found out my whole family knew before I wanted them to. After she found out I didn’t tell her first at the dinner table, she full-on started crying. After that, she went after other people in my family, my parents, and my other siblings. They were just overall agitated and crying, and made everyone at Thanksgiving upset. And honestly made me feel bad when we made the announcement.
My Pregnancy Announcement Ruined Thanksgiving — But Was It Really My Fault?
A Thanksgiving pregnancy announcement turned into a family feud when the poster’s sister erupted in tears after not being told first, raising the question of whether she was the asshole.
One joyful announcement turned into a Thanksgiving meltdown when a sister demanded to be told first.
The Backstory and Early Dynamics
The OP and her husband had just learned they were expecting their first child. They were thrilled—but cautious. Wanting to wait until the end of the first trimester, they decided Thanksgiving would be the perfect moment to share the news with the entire family at once.
Only two trusted family members were told beforehand. Everyone else—including the OP’s sister—was kept in the dark for one important reason: the sister cannot keep a secret.
This wasn’t paranoia. The sister had a history: she once announced OP’s graduate school acceptance before OP could, and she spilled the engagement news to their mom first. Sharing anything with her usually meant sharing it with everyone.
The OP didn’t want that happening with her pregnancy.
The Moment Things Shifted
When the couple stood up at Thanksgiving dinner and announced the pregnancy, the room initially reacted with excitement—until one sister broke down sobbing.
She wasn’t crying from happiness.
She was crying because she felt betrayed.
She demanded to know why she wasn’t told first, insisting she always shared her own pregnancy news with OP before telling anyone else. For her, this wasn’t just an announcement—it was a broken tradition.
The Final Confrontation
Instead of talking privately, the sister escalated the moment publicly. She cried louder. She confronted other family members. She dragged parents and siblings into the emotional spiral.
What should have been a warm, wholesome holiday moment turned into a tense family scene. Everyone was upset. The OP ended up feeling guilty and embarrassed—even though she believed she made the only choice that protected her boundaries.
The Fallout
Thanksgiving was effectively ruined.
The OP and her husband went home feeling deflated instead of celebrated. The sister continued to be angry, acting as if she had been betrayed rather than acknowledging her own history of leaking private information.
Now the OP wonders:
Was she wrong for not telling her sister first? Or was her sister’s reaction completely out of line?
What Reddit Thinks
Most Redditors lean heavily toward NTA (Not The Asshole).
Sample reactions:
- “NTA. Pregnancy isn’t a group project. Tell people when you’re ready.”
- “Your sister cried because she lost control of the narrative she usually steals.”
- “If she keeps announcing your big news before you, she forfeits First To Know privileges.”
A few might argue soft ESH because announcing at a holiday dinner is always risky—but almost everyone agrees the sister’s meltdown was wildly inappropriate.
A Final Thought
Family traditions matter—but so do boundaries.
When someone repeatedly mishandles your private moments, do they still deserve early access to your biggest news?
Or does trust get to decide who hears things first?
