AITA for having my boyfriend over/sleeping with him while my roommate is home?
I’ve recently moved in with a friend into a new-build townhouse. We’ve always been very close and open with talking about everything under the sun: sex, childhood traumas, personal hygiene, family lore, etc. TMI has never existed for us. She especially used to go into detail about the very adventurous intimate things she did with partners.
When we first moved in we talked about having guys over, how neither of us would care about hearing some noise, how if we both had a guy over at the same time we’d make it a competition (jokes of course). Well I started seeing my now bf pretty soon into us moving in and he comes over 1-2x a week, usually a sleepover. I always tried to keep the noise as low as possible knowing she was home, but there were a couple times in the beginning when she heard us a lot because we didn’t realize how thin the walls of our townhouse are (it’s two levels and even up and down is very easy to hear stuff). I have apologized profusely, even bought her some little gifts, and made changes with my bf to be even quieter. Now all she hears is the occasional bumping of my bed frame and skin on skin. And it’s not like we’re running a marathon — it’s 15-20 minutes max.
She seems to be struggling majorly with this. She doesn’t tell me she is, in fact she brushes it off when I bring it up, but then also does nothing to hide the passive aggressiveness whenever I mention he’s coming over. Even us watching TV in the living room, no sexiness involved, will send her off to her parents for the night.
I’m torn because while I feel terrible she’s feeling uncomfortable in her own home, I’m also just so surprised she’s reacting this way given how open we’ve always been and that we talked about it beforehand. I truly would not care if I heard her and a guy, if it got loud I’d just turn my tv up or put my headphones in. I also think we both deserve to have that kind of freedom in our home. Having a roommate, especially a friend, shouldn’t preclude this kind of thing, so long as everyone does their best to be respectful about it.
Am I in the wrong?
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