AITA for asking for more child support?
I’ll try to be as brief as possible –
Married 14 years, divorced 2 years ago. Kids are now 9, 12, 15.
I was primary caregiver during marriage, worked mainly part-time. At time of divorce, we were both self-employed and I had been working full-time hours for about a year. I made $90k, he reported income of about $100k. He only took 4 nights a month with the kids so he paid child support based on the court formula, $325 a week. He moaned and cried about it and said he’d be financially ruined, but I needed it to pay bills here at the house for the kids.
Around that time, I decided to close my business and get a job where I’d have benefits. It’s been a really good decision and now, if I get my target bonuses, I make about $170k per year.
We went back to court about a year after the divorce because I found a bunch of money he’d been hiding and lying about during the divorce (different story!) and as part of all of that, we recalculated support. His business, which he owns and runs, he reported was then making twice as much- about $200k. Support went up to $460 a week. Between that and my salary, my kids and I now live a pretty comfortable life.
Because I knew he’d lie about money, last time we were in court we entered an order that we’d exchange tax returns every year. He recently gave me his returns (over three months late) and his income is up to over $430k per year. (FWIW, he’s likely been making that much all along, but wasn’t putting it on the books during the marriage. Now that he thinks it’s safe to do so he’s running everything through the business to try to increase its value so he can sell it one day.)
So I tell him, I want to recalculate support. In our state that’s how it works- support is based on income and when income changes you can change the order. It would probably calculate somewhere in the $1k a week range.
He says 1) he’s not making any more money because even though the business had that profit, he didn’t take any more money out of the business for himself. He’s been taking the same $6k a month check (not a paycheck or salary but a “draw”) for years, (EDITED TO ADD- I thought it was obvious but i see now I didn’t explain well- this is total BS! That’s why it didnt matter last time the court recalculated support. It’s been explained to him that just because he choses to leave it in his business account rather than putting it in his personal account doesnt mean it isn’t his 
) 2) he can’t possibly afford to pay any more, I don’t need any more, and I’m a money hungry jerk out to ruin him and his business.
) 2) he can’t possibly afford to pay any more, I don’t need any more, and I’m a money hungry jerk out to ruin him and his business.I don’t need the money. The kids and I have everything we need and then some. I can take them on vacations, out to dinner.
But I believe me and the kids are legally entitled to it, and I sure would like it. We could have a lot more fun and I could save more for their future. And I could maybe put an A/C system in the house so they aren’t sweltering in their upstairs bedrooms all summer.
I tried working collaboratively with him to figure this out, but it’s a nonstarter, which means I’ll have to take him to court. Again. He pretty much hates me already, going to court is only going to make it worse. I wonder if it’s worth it. AITA if I pursue it?
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