I Refused to Be My Brother’s Personal Alarm Clock — AITA?
A young man sets firm boundaries after refusing to wake his chronically heavy-sleeping brother for work, igniting a family conflict over responsibility and independence.
A 22-year-old drew a boundary when his 18-year-old brother asked him to wake him up for work — and it split the family.
The Backstory and Early Dynamics
Growing up, the younger brother was notoriously hard to wake.
Parents shook him, alarms blasted, yet he would sleep through anything.
Even as adults in separate rooms, the narrator still heard his brother’s alarm, often needing to walk in and shut it off. When the brother landed a job he loved at a retail store, things finally seemed to be going well — except he developed a habit of waking up to his alarm… only to fall back asleep.
The Moment Things Shifted
After being late twice, the brother asked for a favor:
“Can you start checking on me in the mornings to make sure I’m up?”
The narrator refused.
He argued that if his brother kept “closing his eyes after the alarm” then the consequences were his to face.
He didn’t want that responsibility — because once he agreed, he feared being blamed if the brother was late again.
The Final Confrontation
Mom didn’t agree.
She told him that if he’s already awake, it would be “a nice thing” to do and basic courtesy.
But from the narrator’s point of view, he’s tired too — he hears the alarm, tries to go back to sleep, and doesn’t feel responsible for managing another adult’s schedule.
The Fallout
The narrator held firm:
His brother needed to learn independence, and he didn’t want to be the family accountability system.
But now he’s wondering — is he being cold, or setting a healthy boundary?
What Reddit Thinks
Most likely verdict: NTA (Not The A-Hole)
Sample-style responses:
“He’s lucky you drive him — expecting you to wake him too is entitlement.”
“If you’re awake already, a quick knock wouldn’t kill you… but it shouldn’t be a responsibility.”
“He’s 18 with a job — learning to wake up is part of adult life.”
Some might be mixed, saying a sibling reminder isn’t that big of a deal — but the majority would likely side with boundaries.
A Final Thought
Where do we draw the line between being a supportive family member and enabling someone’s irresponsibility?
Would you wake your sibling daily — or insist they grow up?
