“AITA for dropping my nephews off with their dad/grandma and causing my sister to lose full custody?”

AITA? My mom and sister basically cut me off. I feel so depressed. So a few months ago my sister asks me if I could watch my nephews for a week so she could go see her LDB. They barely see each other because of the distance so ofc I said yes. She gave me months advance notice and offered to pay which I declined.

My nephews can be a bit annoying (they’re 7 and 4) but my sister is a hard working single mom and she deserved the break. The plan was she leaves on a Monday and would fly in that following Monday so I would drop the boys off to school that morning and she would get them in the afternoon.

During the week she always answered my calls and texts and her sons have iPads so she would FT them on theirs every night. That Monday I bring the boys to school thinking everything was good. That week watching them was hard, they require a lot of attention and stimulation and I was so happy it was over.

That afternoon I get a call from my mom. She’s my sisters emergency number for their school and my mom asks me why I haven’t picked them up, they’re both waiting at their separate schools for me and I’m late. I was so confused and said that their mom was supposed to pick them up and my mom says I must be confused, my sister isn’t coming back until the NEXT Monday. I was like WTF??

I have the texts and calls, I literally spoke with her the night before and she said she was heading to the airport. My mom says I’m wrong and that my sister told her she’s coming back November 10th not the 3rd.

I sent my mom the texts my sister sent me last night and my mom says she doesn’t know what’s going on since my sister told her before the trip even happened she was leaving for two weeks and to go and get my nephews. My mom lives out of state helping my brother and his wife with their special needs kids for context so she doesn’t live in the same state as us.

On my way to get my nephews im calling my sister, no answer. My older nephew told me his mom told him she was only going to be gone one week so I was so confused! She didn’t answer my calls and texts until Wednesday and said she was drunk and confused when she texted me she was on the way to the airport. I told her that i only agreed to a week not two weeks and she lied and needs to come.

I also work from home and my youngest nephews preschool is only 8-12 so hes there the whole afternoon when I’m working and it’s hell. Also my back hurts sleeping on my couch. And I had to miss plans with my friends. I was so pissed she would lie. My sister is not a liar she’s never done anything like this before, this was my longest ever watching them for her.

Before she would only do an hour or two and be right on time. I decided to give her grace and just move on and watched them that second week expecting her to actually be coming on Monday. That weekend she didn’t answer any of my calls so I called my mom and she told me she had spoken with my sister and she WAS coming Monday morning.

So that Monday again I dropped them both off expecting my sister back and this was a case of miscommunication. When my mom called me at noon (when my nephew got out of preschool) I knew it. My mom says my sister extended her trip, her boyfriend got into a car accident. I called BS immediately but my mom insisted it’s true.

I said then why hasn’t she answered a single call or text since WEDNESDAY and my mom said she’s too stressed right now. I said even if her boyfriend got into an accident the day she was supposed to leave, she has KIDS! And a job! Like what?!

My mom said be your sisters village, she needs us, this is the first time she’s seen her man all year and he got injured she feels the need to be there for him. I told my mom I’m calling CPS and she called me crazy and said I can’t.

I went and got my nephew and called my sister over a hundred times. No answer. It got to the point where my texts stopped going through, so she blocked me. This is after telling her I’m calling CPS. When I picked up by older nephew a few hours later we went back to my apartment and I packed all their things. I asked my nephew if he has his dad’s number and he said yes.

My sisters baby daddy isn’t a good dad. He’s extremely in and out of their lives, and has weekend custody he rarely use. He lives with his mom. He does pay child support. I called their dad and told him everything and how I can’t watch them any longer so can he and he agreed and texted me the address. I brought the boys over, I did go inside to make sure everything was good.

Their grandma was the only one there and they have their own room set up there. My mom was so upset and called me so many times yelling at me saying to go get my nephews from those deadbeats and how could i do this to my sister? I said that she hasn’t answered me in days and lied about when she’s getting back and I didn’t agree to that but she didnt care.

I don’t know much about what happened for the rest of the month since my sister didn’t come back until Thanksgiving, all I know is that their dad filed for emergency something and since my sister didn’t show it was granted. They also reported her to CPS for leaving her kids for almost a month.

When she got back she finally answered my texts cussing me out calling me every insult you can think saying I’m disgusting for abandoning her sons when she was going through something huge in life (mind you according to her stories on Instagram her BF was out of the hospital in a few days and had no major injuries) and that I was so selfish I couldn’t watch them during an emergency.

She doesn’t have full custody of her kids anymore since she can’t afford a good lawyer and her ex was granted temporary custody until their next hearing which is months away. All she has now is supervised visits. Her and my mom both haven’t spoken to me since. .

They’re saying I agreed to watch my nephews and backed out of it and it tore our family apart. My sister sends me voice notes of her sobbing everyday but that’s it. SHE’s the one that left her kids for a month and im being blamed! I feel so bad. Even our estranged dad texted me a long paragraph about how horrible of a person I am. AITA??

This is what people had to say to OP:

Tryn4SimpleLife said:

NTA I’m a single dad, and if someone is watching my kids, I’m grateful for any time I get and definitely picking up the phone if that person calls. Neither your mom or her respect your time. Probably think, “she’s single and works from home. She’s always available.”

KronkLaSworda said:

“Her and my mom both haven’t spoken to me since.” Good. Block them both. Seriously. Block their cell phones and emails. Your sister is your mom’s golden child, a terrible mother, a selfish person, and a horrible sister. Your mom is an enabler. You’re the scapegoat. Your estranged dad can take a long walk off a short peer. NTA.

Material_Cellist4133 said:

NTA. You agreed to watch your niece and nephew for 1 week not a month. She literally abandoned her children, seems like she is the deadbeat.

Also, their dad doesn’t seem like a deadbeat. He took his children. He filed for emergency custody. Maybe stop listening to your sister side of the story, because from what I am reading, he didn’t abandon his boys for a girl.

Sebscreen said:

NTA. Why are you letting the words of a known liar shake your belief in yourself.

She abandoned her kids for almost a month and actively blocked contact with who she believed was their caregiver! She is facing the exact consequences someone who abandoned their kids SHOULD face.

Not out of courtesy for your troubles, or to do you justice, mind you… These are consequences legally in place to PROTECT THE KIDS from awful parents like her

OP responded:

Thank you. It’s just hard to not feel bad when everyone is telling you that you’re wrong. She’s making it seem like I agreed to watch them for two weeks and the extra two weeks were due to an emergency and I bailed on her when she needed me. I still feel bad and cry because I do love them both and miss them but I know you’re right.