“AITA for refusing to eat my family’s food after seeing their ‘disgusting’ hygiene habits?”

​I (19, 2nd Year Food Technology student) am currently at my burnt out reviewing for our exams. Since I started my major, I’ve learned exactly how dangerous improper food handling is. I’ve tried to gently teach my family about cross-contamination and temperature control, but they just laugh at me and call me “OA” ( a popular sayings in the Philippines which simply means: over-acting).

The breaking point happened yesterday. I saw my mom use the same cutting board for raw chicken and then immediately for the salad vegetables without washing it. When I pointed out that she was literally serving us a “Salmonella cocktail,” she got annoyed and told me to “just pray over the food.”

​​I refused to eat the dinner. My dad got furious and said I was being arrogant because I’m in college now. I told them that as a Food Tech student, I’ve seen what these bacteria look like under a microscope and I’m not risking a hospital trip.

To prove my point, I threw away a batch of sauce they left out on the counter overnight (worth about $306 USD if you count the meat so money for sauce and for opened goods like pineapple chunks and such and meats. I just referenced what my mother said, as far as I remember, she said that the whole mess costed her 18kP). I couldn’t let them eat it had been in the “danger zone” for 10 hours.

Now the whole house is silent. My mom is hurt because she thinks I’m “disgusted” by her, and my dad says I’m an ahole for “acting like a professor” and wasting food. I feel like I’m the only one being sane here.

I love them and don’t want them to get sick, but they treat me like a villain just because I’m using my education to keep us safe. ​AITA for choosing science over “family tradition” and refusing to eat their contaminated food?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Linachen said:

YTA – you didn’t just refuse to eat their food (which would have been totally fine), but you threw away food they wanted to eat. Your parents are grown ups and are allowed to make their own wrong choices – if you actually want them to learn and change their behavior, you’ll need to find a much less aggressive and direct approach.

Uubilicious_The_Wise said:

I mean….you’re not wrong but it sounds to me like you’re acting like that second year psychology student who suddenly thinks they knows everything about everyone because of their major. It’s exhausting.

You’ve been eating their food for almost 2 decades. Have to say YTA because you’re being an AH about the whole thing. Your concerns are valid and it’s fine not to eat it if you don’t want to but chill with the preaching.

call_me_fig said:

YTA for throwing out their food, but you are right. I went to culinary school in the states and learned about safe food handling. There was a lot of things my parent’s did when I was growing up that I would never do today. Also it’s not like we were sick with food poisoning every other weekend so there is some leeway for sure.

It’s nice to know better, but it’s up to your family to care about this like you do. Maybe it’s time to start cooking some meals for the family in a way that you are comfortable with, or making small things for yourself.

Cooking with your family and teaching them safe food handling is probably the only way you get them to change their habits. Throwing out their food will not help them to understand your perspective ever, but some quality time in the kitchen together might.

Unlucky-Catch607 said:

Soft YTA. You’ve lived with your parents for 19 years. Have they poisoned you in that time? But now because you’ve become a food safety “expert” you act like a health inspector in their home? It’s your choice if you refuse to eat food they’ve cooked, but you don’t throw away somebody else’s food. Also be prepared for the fallout. You could have handled that more diplomatically.

DespisedTurnip said:

Soft YTA. You’re right about health concerns and it’s valid in a restaurant. But at home people can cook how they wish. They’ve used these methods their entire life and been fine. I’ve worked in food service, and understand how to keep to health standards and when I cook for people I do this.

But I’ve also been at a point where I was homeless and starving and have no issue eating something that fell on the ground or sat out too long. Humans’ immune systems have weakened from cooking food, but that doesn’t mean tolerance can’t be built, which your parents likely have.

It’s their home and they can choose to keep or toss food as they please, if it’s not growing mold or showing rot then they’ll more than likely be fine. Education has conditioned everyone to be overly scared of bacteria, but this over avoidance actually makes people worse off at fighting sicknesses because their immune system doesn’t work to build resistance anymore.

somuchsong said:

Slight YTA here. You’re not wrong but there have to be better ways to go about educating your family than being condescending and telling your mother she was about to serve a “salmonella cocktail” to everyone. And how did throwing away the sauce prove a point? Maybe showing them what it looked like under a microscope might have proved your point but throwing it away didn’t prove anything.

After reading the comments, OP updated the post to include:

YEAH RIGHT, I’M THE A-HOLE, I ALREADY TRIED TO REACH OUT TO MY DEARLY LOVED MOTHER AND FATHER TO COMPENSATE THE THINGS I DID. ACTUALLY I ALREADY FELT BAD THE TIME I KNEW MY MOTHER CRIED BC OF ME (IVE NEVER MADE HER CRY) BUT I FEEL LIKE THEY DON’T GET ME.