AITA for not texting my coworker/friend after he asked me to give him space?
I (40F) work in behavioral health as a peer support specialist (not a therapist). I’ve been in this field for 3.5 years, mostly in substance abuse treatment.
About 7 months ago, I ended a fling with “A” (57M), who later became my best guy friend. He told me he wasn’t interested in me anymore because he was into my best friend. That hurt, but I valued our friendship more, so we stayed close.
Six months ago, after I lost my job, he offered me a position at his agency. We agreed to keep things professional, though our dynamic has always been rocky — he’s very “Captain Save‑a‑Hoe,” and I tend to overshare.
Three days ago, he told me to give him space and only talk to him at work. I respected that and stopped texting him when I got home at night. Normally I text my coworkers when I get home safe (the area I walk through has a lot of drugs, prostitution, and homelessness), but I excluded him since he asked for space.
Tonight, he sent me a long text saying he was upset I hadn’t been checking in, accused me of being jealous of my friend he’s with, and called me names (“a,” “jealous b”). He told me to “shape up or shape out” because the job doesn’t need jealousy.
I explained that I was just respecting his boundary and protecting my peace. When I used to text him that I got home safe, he never acknowledged it anyway, so I thought it was better to stop altogether.
AITA for following his request for space and not texting him outside of work?
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