AITA for refusing to do free work for my kids’ stepfather?
He Mocked My Job—Now He Wants Free Labor
A union electrician refused to do unpaid work for his kids’ stepfather after the man mocked unions—sparking an AITA debate online.
An electrician refuses a “quick favor” for his ex’s new husband after being publicly disrespected.
The backstory and early dynamics
The OP is a union electrician who shares custody of three kids with his ex-wife.
Their divorce last year was messy, but things have mostly stabilized.
Then his ex remarried quickly—after just six months of dating—to a trades-adjacent guy we’ll call Brad. Brad does small, non-union IT and data networking jobs and is self-employed.
Tension quietly existed… until Brad opened his mouth.
The moment things shifted
At the OP’s daughter’s volleyball game, Brad casually announced that “real tradesmen don’t need to be in a union.”
He said this while standing next to the OP, who was literally wearing a union-logo shirt.
The OP didn’t respond—but he noticed. Especially since his license actually allows him to do all of Brad’s work, at a higher professional standard and pay rate.
The final confrontation
Weeks later, the ex-wife calls unexpectedly.
Brad has an electrical panel issue at one of his jobs.
She asks if the OP can “just swing by” for a “quick favor.”
The catch?
- No pay
- No official paperwork
- And it would be “technically working for Brad.”
The OP refuses, explaining:
- He charges everyone the same
- Union rules don’t allow side jobs
- The work must go through his shop
His ex fires back:
“You’re really going to force this issue with my husband?”
The OP calmly replies that Brad can hire his own subcontractors—or pay like everyone else.
The fallout
Now the ex-wife says the OP is being petty, creating tension, and doing this only because Brad lives with the kids.
The OP disagrees.
To him, this isn’t personal—it’s professional.
His stance is simple:
He doesn’t give free labor to people who openly disrespect his trade.
What Reddit Thinks
Verdict trend: NTA (Not The A-Hole)
Most commenters would side with the OP, calling this a clear case of boundaries, not bitterness.
Sample reactions:
- “Funny how unions are ‘useless’ until they need union-level skill for free.”
- “Union rules aside, no one is entitled to your labor—especially someone who insulted you.”
- “If Brad thinks he’s a ‘real tradesman,’ he can handle his own work.”
A small minority might argue he should keep the peace for the kids—but even they admit Brad created the problem first.
A Final Thought
Is refusing free labor really petty—or is it the only way to protect your dignity when someone wants your skills but not your respect?
