AITA for refusing to attend my friend’s bachelor trip after finding out I was only invited to split costs?

I (32M) have been friends with “Mark” (33M) for over a decade. We are not inseparable, but we’ve been solid friends since college. When he got engaged, I was happy for him and congratulated him right away.

A few months ago, Mark told me he was planning a bachelor trip with “the guys” and asked if I was in. I said yes and assumed it would be a typical weekend away. No details yet, just that it would be “a good time.”

Recently, the group chat got active with actual plans. That’s when things started to feel off. Everyone else in the group had clearly already discussed the itinerary in a separate chat. The location, activities, and even room assignments were already decided before I was added.

Then the costs were posted. I noticed I was being asked to split the total evenly, including activities I was not interested in and accommodations I did not get a say in. When I asked if we could talk about options or at least adjust the split, Mark said it would “complicate things” and that it was easier if everyone just paid the same.

What bothered me most was that I later found out I wasn’t even originally on the guest list. Another friend dropped out, and Mark added me afterward so the cost per person wouldn’t go up for everyone else.

I told Mark I wasn’t comfortable going under those circumstances and would bow out. He got upset and accused me of making the trip about money and not supporting him. A few other guys messaged me saying I was being cheap and should just pay up for the experience.

I can afford it, but it feels wrong to be invited primarily to subsidize a trip I had no role in planning.

AITA for refusing to go?

90schilhood

90schilhood