“AITA for telling my husband he isn’t allowed to come to our baby’s appointments?”

Let me start by saying that I sort of feel like the a&^le here and I want to know what other people who don’t know us think. For context our baby girl is only 3 months. I will also be the first to admit that I’m very new at being a mom, and have never ever claimed to be perfect.

I was incredibly scared while I was pregnant, and while my daughter herself is way easier than I expected, I have lots of anxiety, which I’ve been told is very normal. I am 21, a brand new mom, and also recently married.

So anyway, several nights ago our baby was crying at around midnight. Recently she’s been doing good with sleep, one late night feed and then she sleeps until like 6-7 which is great. I picked her up, and was holding her while sitting up in bed.

My husband woke up too and looked at us for about two seconds before he went back to sleep, which is fine. I fed her and she fell asleep. Our TV was still on in the bedroom and I was watching it, with the baby asleep on my chest. I didn’t want to move her and honestly I just wanted to enjoy that little second of my baby, silence, and the TV.

Ten minutes later my husband woke up SCREAMING. He woke the baby up by immediately snapping in my face and accusing me of having been asleep with her still on me. I of course said that I wasn’t, but he was adamant I was.

It took about half an hour to calm her back down and then an hour more of his accusations that I was sleeping. I kept saying I literally wasn’t I was watching TV. And I 10000% was. He claims he saw my eyes shut.

At the next well baby visit my husband decides to tell the pediatrician that I co-sleep with our baby. (I know that some people can do that safely but we’ve opted not to and the doctor says it’s unsafe to do). I was so annoyed.

Eventually my husband backed it down to just co sleeping “sometimes” but that’s still not true. I don’t even co sleep at all!!!!! He claims he saw me ONCE which isn’t even true!!!

Needless to say, I got a lecture from the doctor and some dirty and judgmental looks. I felt awful, and like an awful mom. As soon as we got home and my husband asked me what was wrong I told him it was him. I also told him he would no longer be allowed to come to the visits.

My husband got so annoyed at me for suggesting that I could stop him from coming to her appointments. Looking back, yes, I understand that I can’t do that. But I cannot believe he would do this. AITA?

Here’s what people had to say about this one:

TrickInvite6296

nta but you need to correct this with your doctor, what he did could get you in SERIOUS trouble if doctors suspect neglect or injury as a result of it. do you really want to stay with a guy who refuses to take care of the kid himself, but will lie about you being a bad parent?

throwaway260  OP responded:

I know. I was adamant that we do not co sleep and I think her doctor was just more confused than alarmed. He was like k we’ll check in on that next time.

BriefHorror  said:

You have to be firm and tell him he’s wrong and if he wants to continue to slander you to everyone involved he’s being a bad husband. If he wants to hold the line on lies he can kick rocks.
Azsura12     said:

NTA, but next time he does something like this tell the doctor something like this “Oh, I am actually quite worried for my husband he has been having delusions or thinking dreams are real. What he is saying right now is untrue I never co-sleep with the baby because I know it is unsafe.

Where this is stemming from is him being fast asleep waking up from a nightmare or something he woke up screaming and waking the baby up whilst I was watching tv. He then went on to accuse me of sleeping and now wont drop it.”

Thin-District8266   said:

NTA. But the REAL problem you got, isn’t the lie. He SCARED the baby awake, and got in your face…That’s NEVER ok…

said:

You’re husband saw your eyes shut whilst he was busy sleeping/his eyes were shut? Tell him to f off and maybe wake up and take over childcare if he’s so worried about the way in which you take care of your child. NTA.

completedett  said:

NTA. Hidden cameras. Don’t trust your husband, he is going to get you into trouble.