AITA for not wanting my sister to move into my free apartment?
I feel like the jerk here, but I need some confirmation or at least some advice on how to handle the situation. I (20F) attend university some hours away from my home. I am the oldest of three children and have one sister (19F) and one brother (17M). My sister attends the same university as me. She currently lives in a dorm. I do not.
I have an amazing deal. When I was a freshman, I became part of a church youth group. Said church has a single apartment in the basement. It’s free to someone who cleans and does other duties around the church. I volunteered for the job and I’ve lived there for the past two years. It’s nothing grand; I have a bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchenette/living room. My toilet is broken, my doors won’t properly shut, and the lights constantly flicker. But it’s free as long as I keep up my end of the bargain.
My sister, like I said, lives in a dorm. My parents pay for everything. But they’re going through a tough patch. My brother has been hospitalized for psychosis, my dad fell off a ladder and was hospitalized for a while, and my mom had a varicose vein removed. Then my dad bought some farmland that costs over $350,000 in American money. We still live comfortable lives, but my parents have become very stingy. They’ve started criticizing my financial decisions. My dad even accessed my bank account and called me to complain about how much money I spend. It’s made me very uncomfortable. Now both of my parents have asked me to let my sister move in with me next year. They say it will be a big financial burden off their shoulders. They said that one of us can live in my kitchenette/living room until I graduate my Uni.
Now, don‘t get me wrong, I love my sister. She’s fashionable, funny, and incredibly smart. She’s a writer who’s had some of her work published in literary magazines. We get along well. But here’s the problem…I don’t get along very well with my parents, especially my mom. She has been verbally abusive to me in the past. I still live in fear that she will snap again, as she does on a whim. My dad means well, but he enables her. My sister is pretty close with my mom, and she often reports to Mom about what I’m doing. Mom was mad that I was losing weight, so she had my sister go through my fridge and report on what I was eating. I had a depressive spell this semester that was really bad, due to some terrible things my Mom said and did. My apartment was not in great shape. My sister came over to use my shower and saw my kitchen, and immediately called Mom and Dad. Now both of my parents are mad at me for “violating God’s space”, as my dad calls it.
I‘m scared that my sister will continue to tell my parents about everything I’m doing and my mom will use this to have leverage over me. So I am tempted to say that I don’t want her to be my roommate. But at the same time, my sister is a cool person and I don’t want her to have to worry about finding a place to live. So AITAH for not wanting my sister to be my roommate?
