AITAH for refusing to have sex with my partner while his family is staying with us – and telling his mother exactly why?
I (33F) I live with my partner (35M). We generally have a good relationship, including a healthy sex life – until recently.
About two months ago, his parents and younger sister came to stay with us “temporarily” while they dealt with some financial issues. That temporary stay has turned into eight weeks with no clear end date. They didn’t ask me directly; my partner agreed first and told me after.
Since they moved in, his mom has completely taken over the house. She rearranged the kitchen, comments on what I eat, and has made several passive-aggressive remarks about me “not acting like a wife” (we’re not married). His sister goes through my things and once walked into our bedroom without knocking when I was getting dressed after showering.
Because of all this, I told my partner I was uncomfortable being intimate while they’re here. I don’t feel relaxed, I don’t feel like I have privacy, and frankly I don’t feel respected in my own home. I’ve still been affectionate – just not interested in sex.
My partner says I’m “punishing him for something that isn’t his fault” and that adults should be able to have sex even if family is around. He also said it’s been “long enough” and that I should try harder.
Things blew up last weekend when his mom confronted me and asked if I was “withholding intimacy” from her son. I was shocked and told her, calmly, that yes, I don’t feel comfortable having sex when I’m being judged, invaded, and treated like a guest in my own house.
Now his entire family thinks I’m disrespectful, oversharing, and trying to control him. My partner says I embarrassed him and should apologize to his mom for “bringing our private life into it.” I told him she brought it into it first.
He says I’m making a big deal out of nothing and that sex shouldn’t stop just because I’m annoyed. I think my comfort and boundaries matter.
So… AITAH?
Edit: Many replies suggesting that I move out and asking if its the same partner i posted about 11 months ago. Its a new relationship which I got into after breaking up with my ex. We moved pretty fast and got this apartment July. We are jointly on the lease which ends in June. If I leave, I would remain liable for my share of 6 months of rent while having to pay rent elsewhere, which I can’t afford on my current salary.
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