AITA for leaving my parents house early after she yelled at us and accused us of only wanting gifts?
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Edit: Some of the things I don’t go into detail about is because it’s EXTREMELY PRIVATE
I (F22) need an outside perspective because I’m being told I’m selfish and ungrateful, but I genuinely don’t think I am. My fiancé (M24) and I were visiting my parents/family for the holidays. My fiancé’s birthday is December 29th and mine is December 31st, and the original plan was to stay until January 2nd. However, during the visit, my mother began yelling at both of us, emotionally manipulating us, and gaslighting us over multiple issues. Which also put my fiancé into a trauma response. She blamed me entirely for mistakes my fiancé made, even when they had nothing to do with me. When we tried to explain or set boundaries, she escalated instead of listening. Things came to a head when we said we wanted to leave early because of the constant drama and also because we were concerned about the weather. She accused us of “just wanting the gifts and then leaving,” which hurt deeply because that was never our intention. We had even got gifts for each family member. We were trying to remove ourselves from a hostile environment, not take advantage of her. She also attacked my faith. I am Christian, but I don’t attend church regularly because I get overstimulated in church settings. I pray and worship privately instead. I am diagnosed with autism and ADHD, but my mother refuses to believe I’m autistic despite the diagnosis. She told me I “wasn’t really Christian” because I don’t go to church, which felt cruel and dismissive. She also made comments about my weight and made both my fiancé and me feel ashamed of the gifts we got each other, implying they were inappropriate or wasteful. Nothing we did felt “right” to her. When we reminded her that she herself had said we were allowed to leave early, she insulted our intelligence and continued to belittle us. At that point, we decided it was healthier to leave rather than stay until January 2nd and continue enduring the yelling, accusations, and manipulation. Now my mother is telling family members that we’re ungrateful, selfish, only came for gifts, and disrespected her. I’m being made to feel like I ruined the holidays.
So, AITA for leaving early and prioritizing our mental health instead of staying through the rest of the visit?
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