My boyfriend and I have been together 4 years.
His family is close knit. All live within 1 mile and do all holidays together. Used to do family dinners every few weeks for the first year we were together but stopped.
He has an aunt that always sends Christmas/Birthday cards. She’s the planner type and goes all out for get togethers, football games etc. Anyway. Bf gets one, his two kids get one. She lives just up the road and could hand place them in mailbox but she stamps and goes to post office instead so there’s obvious effort.
My bf and I had a kid together almost 2 years ago. His aunt decided she would start sending my kid a bday card/Christmas card too now. Only because I had a kid with her nephew. 2 years now and I still haven’t gotten a card. But our baby, my kid, his 2 kids and he still get their cards.
I feel very obviously left out.
She’s never rude to me. Always cordial but it just feels cold.
His mother gives me a card with money in it. The first year we were together, we had only been together a few months and she gave me a nice written card welcoming me to the family and a few thoughtful gifts. Now, a card with money.
I do not want to seem ungrateful but I also don’t even want to accept because it’s so thoughtless.
My bf’s mom plans all holidays around my bf’s kids other mothers plans. If they have a Christmas/thanksgiving thing on X day , she will clarify with them so she can work around the mother and that sides extended families plans. Even so much as to go 2 weeks out. I am a very obviously permanent fixture in her son’s life. She has never once asked if me/my son and now my second son, will be in town. Never once bothers to see if I am going to be available, as though if I don’t have my own family.
My bf claims he doesn’t see it. I think he’s a liar. How can you miss the obvious?
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