• Am I The A’hole? (AITA)
  • WIBTAH if I(27F) didn’t go to my cousins wedding that my mom(65F) insists for me to go?

    WIBTAH if I(27F) didn’t go to my cousins wedding that my mom(65F) insists for me to go?
    I bought tickets for this concert almost 6 months ago knowing that the wedding would be close to the date. A week ago, the invitation was sent and I ended up finding out that it would be 3 days before the concert. My mom found out and is guilt tripping me about how my cousin expects for me to be there and she would be hurt if I didn’t go. The thing is, I’m not close to my cousin at all. We only see each other maybe once or twice a year and that’s it. I don’t see an issue with not going but everytime I talk to my mom, she brings up the fact that I’ll be upsetting my cousin. With how often we’ve had this conversation, I’m starting to feel guilty about not going.
    The thing is, I wouldn’t even go even if I didn’t have my concert. I only get two weeks off in a year and I feel like using my PTO on the wedding would be a waste of time. I just feel guilty and I’m not sure what to do.
    Should I just give up the tickets and go to the wedding just so I can keep my mom happy?

    She Chose a Concert Over Family—Now Her Mom Won’t Let It Go

    A woman faces family pressure after choosing a long-planned concert over attending her distant cousin’s wedding.

    A 27-year-old woman planned her dream concert months in advance—only to be guilt-tripped by her mom into attending a cousin’s wedding she never wanted to go to.

    Let’s break it down

    The backstory and early dynamics

    Six months ago, she bought concert tickets she was genuinely excited about.
    At the time, she knew a cousin’s wedding might happen around the same period—but no official date existed, and no invitation had been sent.

    Her relationship with this cousin? Distant at best.
    They see each other once or twice a year. No deep bond. No regular communication.

    The moment things shifted

    A week ago, the wedding invitation finally arrived.
    The date? Three days before the concert.

    That’s when her mom stepped in—hard.

    Her mother began insisting that her cousin expects her to be there and would be hurt if she didn’t attend. Every conversation turned into the same emotional pressure, framed as disappointment and family obligation.

    The final confrontation

    Here’s the part that really matters:
    Even without the concert, she wouldn’t go.

    She only gets two weeks of PTO per year, and using it on a wedding for someone she barely knows feels like a waste of precious time. The concert just made the choice clearer—but also heavier with guilt.

    Now she’s stuck asking herself:
    Do I sacrifice something I truly care about just to keep my mom happy?

    The fallout

    Nothing has been officially decided yet—but the emotional toll is already there.
    Every conversation with her mom makes her feel worse. The guilt is creeping in, even though she believes her decision is reasonable.

    She’s questioning herself—not because of the cousin, but because of her mother.

    What Reddit Thinks

    Most Redditors would likely land on NTA (Not the A-hole)—with a strong emphasis on personal boundaries.

    Sample reactions:

    • “You’re not skipping the wedding—you were never obligated to go in the first place.”
    • “Your PTO is yours. A distant cousin doesn’t outrank your happiness.”
    • “This is about your mom’s feelings, not your cousin’s.”

    Some might suggest sending a gift or a heartfelt message—but very few would say she should give up the concert.

    A Final Thought

    Family pressure has a way of turning reasonable choices into emotional minefields.
    The real question isn’t about a wedding or a concert—it’s about who gets to decide how you spend your limited time.

    So where do you draw the line between family expectations and your own life?

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