AITAH for turning in my mother and giving my step father’s ashes to my step sister?
When my step dad died, my family and I picked up our lives and moved 5 hours away to help my mom. She didn’t make enough money to keep her house, car, etc without him. When we first got there she dived into alcoholism and did not hold up her part of the deal/contributions. We discussed this with her and she seemed to snap back into reality and start to sober up. All seemed well.
Flash forward 6 months to a year later and she started going out and not coming home for a day or two. Whatever, she’s a grown adult (60’s) and we assumed she just didn’t want to be around the chaos of grandkids. When she was home she still seemed fine.
Flash forward another 2 years and we found out that she wasn’t only doing drugs but was selling them, sometimes in our home. She did this while my youngest was between 3 and 5.
When we found everything out, we turned her in to the police. After doing so, I decided she didn’t deserve fo keep my step dad’s ashes. If she did all this while he was alive, he would have turned her in and kicked her out IMMEDIATELY.
My step sister stopped talking to me and my mom about 6 months after he died and ended up blocking us both in social media. I didn’t know why, but assumed it was just painful to talk to us especially about him. Well, after all of the nonsense with my mom, I found a way to reach out to her and give her his ashes. My mom was LIVID.
When I gave my step sister his ashes, she informed me that she blocked us because my step dad wanted to be interred at Arlington cemetery and we didn’t respect those wishes. No one ever told me this or I would have had it done ASAP. My step sister is in the process of doing it now.
AITAH?
Edit: We tried to get her help several times including offering to pay for rehab and she refused. She said she could do it on her own and seemed like she was, but got deeper into it instead.
Yes we were living in her house, but we were paying for everything, mortgage, utilities, maintenance, and all necessities not just for us but her as well including personal hygiene and laundry products, food, gas in her car, etc. She was basically an additional child who contributed nothing, not even chores.
We also did NOT stay in the house. 1st because it wasn’t ours and 2nd we feared for our lives as she was getting high on her own supply and owed whoever was above her a lot of money. We also didn’t take anything that was hers and also left a lot of our own stuff.
