Prior to my wife and I trying for our first, we spoke with both sets of parents and said would they have any interest in helping with watching their grandkids until preschool starts? Both were over the moon excited, all 4 fully retired, and they all said absolutely! The plan was to trade off weeks so they know their schedule for booking their own appointments, etc.
Wife gets pregnant and around 10 weeks post-birth shes getting ready to transition back to work and her parents said they’ve changed their minds and decided to travel more and want to enjoy their elder years. Ummm, ok. My parents did their absolute best to pick up inlaws slack but daily childcare was too much with my wife and I working full time so we ended up with my parents watching on Mondays and Wednesdays, paying for child care on Tuesdays and Thursdays and my wife and I working half days on Fridays to handle that. With my parents taking the Friday whenever we needed them too. They’re incredible!
It was very frustrating to have inlaws say one thing and do the opposite. In 6 years, they’ve never once watched any of our kids for a single day.
So my wife and I bought a house about a week ago. They’re over checking it out as we’re unboxing and my FIL sees this house has a 1st fl Master with full bath. He turns to MIL and says “oh thank God, we wont have to do stairs.” I said “come again?” MIL says of my wife and her two siblings, we are doing by far the best and it would make the most sense for them to live with us, as they’re in their 70s and a house is becoming too much for them already.
I audibly laughed hard and loud and said “Hell would freeze before you live here.” Which was met by shock from both of them. I explained that when we needed their help, they turned their backs so we were simply doing the same. My wife agreed. She expressed how expensive and how difficult it was with zero help from one side of our “village”. That was their call but we were now returning the favor.
They’re incredibly upset and hurt over this revelation. Were we TA for this stance? I dont think so at all but if the votes are a bloodbath I’ll reconsider as we have the space.
