• Am I The A’hole? (AITA)
  • WIBTAH if I leave everything to my daughter and son in law in my will?

    WIBTAH if I leave everything to my daughter and son in law in my will?
    I’m dying from cancer, stage 4 and it’s too aggressive, and I’m just finalising my will and everything and it’s so hard.
    I have 2 kids a son and a daughter, my son has been no contact with us for the past 20 years since he was 18, and it’s because I didn’t pay for his college like I paid for his older sister, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to or like he believes that I didn’t love him but I just couldn’t, I made some terrible investments that time and financially I was screwed, I could barely keep food on the table much less pay for his college, but to him that meant I hated him which wasn’t true at all. He’s married now with multiple kids that I never met and will probably die before I ever get to meet any of them, meanwhile my daughter and son in law have been nothing but loving to me, ever since I was diagnosed 4 years ago my daughter hasn’t left my side, every single hospital stay she was there with me, she always brought her beautiful kids to cheer me on and keep me fighting, I love them all so much, my son in law is also just like a son to me, I love him so much for loving and protecting my daughter like I did.
    I still love my son, and him being no contact with me still destroys me, but I honestly don’t think he deserves anything from me after I’m gone and think it’d be disrespectful to my daughter and her family who never left my side to get the same as someone who openly hates me and hasn’t been in my life for 20 years over something that was out of my control, but would that make me an asshole? Because again he’s still my son and it feels unfair but it’d also be unfair to my daughter. This whole thing sucks.

    Dying Parent’s Will Sparks a 20-Year Family Divide

    A terminally ill parent faces a heartbreaking inheritance dilemma between an estranged son and a daughter who never left their side.

    A terminally ill parent is torn between a devoted daughter and an estranged son when deciding who deserves their final inheritance.

    Let’s break it down

    The backstory and early dynamics

    The writer is dying from aggressive stage-4 cancer and is finalizing their will. They have two children: a daughter and a son. Twenty years ago, their relationship with their son completely collapsed when they couldn’t afford to pay for his college—despite having paid for his older sister’s education earlier.

    At the time, the parent says they were financially ruined by bad investments and were barely able to keep food on the table. But the son saw the lack of tuition money as proof he wasn’t loved. At 18, he cut contact entirely—and never looked back.

    The moment things shifted

    While the son disappeared, the daughter stepped up. When the cancer diagnosis came four years ago, she became a constant presence. Hospital stays, treatments, emotional support—she was there for all of it.

    She didn’t come alone. She brought her husband and children, turning hospital rooms into places of warmth and motivation. The son-in-law, in particular, became “like a son,” offering love, protection, and stability when it was needed most.

    The final confrontation

    Now, facing the end of life, the parent is deciding what to do with their estate. The instinct is clear: leave everything to the daughter and son-in-law—the people who never left.

    The conflict is emotional, not legal. The parent still loves their son deeply and is heartbroken by the estrangement. But after 20 years of silence, missed milestones, and never meeting his grandchildren, it feels wrong to reward someone who “openly hates” them.

    At the same time, cutting him out feels cruel—because he’s still their child.

    The fallout

    There hasn’t been an argument or dramatic showdown—just quiet devastation. The parent is left weighing guilt against gratitude, blood ties against lived reality, and love against fairness.

    They describe the entire situation in one sentence: “This whole thing sucks.”

    What Reddit Thinks

    Likely verdict: NTA (Not the Ahole), with some mixed emotions**

    Sample responses:

    • “Inheritance isn’t about DNA—it’s about who showed up. Your daughter earned this.”
    • “Your son made a choice for 20 years. Consequences don’t disappear just because you’re family.”
    • “NAH. This is just tragic all around. But honoring the people who cared for you isn’t wrong.”

    A Final Thought

    Is fairness about splitting things evenly—or about recognizing who stood beside you when it mattered most?

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