“AITA if I refuse to get in the car with my friend who speeds?”
So, I’m about to fly out and see my friend across the country but I’ve sort of a hit roadblock. My friend loves cars, and coinciding with his car passion, he unfortunately loves to speed. I, am quite literally the exact opposite and drive 5-10 over the speed limit at maximum and understand the true ramifications of my actions when I drive.
However, my friend will regularly push his car to the limit, and when I meet him, wants to speed up to 120, which I’ve sort of light heartedly joked over text that I don’t want to do that. I know that getting in an accident at 120 is guaranteed severe injury, if not, d**th which I obviously have NO INTENTION of doing, I have a lot to live for and do.
I’ve expressed this to him before when I lived near him and he understood my concerns and I do have to say, did keep the speeding to a minimum. But judging by the way he was texting about going 120 when I fly in has me really concerned, which I obviously will repeat and affirm again in person that at no point will he be going anything over 100 with me in the car.
Part of me doesn’t want to let the rest of the friend group down since they are all into it but I really do prioritize my safety, and I’m afraid he’ll look at me like I’m some sort of AH, which I guess whatever. I’ve seen countless videos of the aftermath of drunk driving or reckless driving in general and it’s shook me to my core.
People who lived normal lives had their lives completely turned around in mere seconds, and to me that’s something I have 0 intention of being in the car doing. My only option if he didn’t stop speeding with me in the car would be taking Uber or something since I would not have a car of my own to use while I’m there.
Like at the end of the day he’s a good person and I love him to my core but as much as I trust him, I can’t trust him behind the wheel and I feel like I’m at the mercy of what he wants to do if I do sit in that passenger seat.
I don’t want to become another statistic or a mangled hunk of flesh in his passenger seat, it just disturbs me to my core. AITA if I do express these concerns to him and refuse to enter his car if he doesn’t trust that he won’t speed with me in it?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
annedroiid wrote:
ESH. He’s obviously the asshole for driving that dangerously. You’re not the asshole for not wanting to get in a car with someone driving that dangerously (assuming you’re talking about miles/h and not km/h).
“I, am quite literally the opposite and drive 5-10 over the speed limit at maximum and understand the true ramifications of my actions when I drive.”
You are TA for trying to claim what you’re doing is safe. You are not the opposite of someone who speeds a lot by speeding a little. Some people always stay at or just under the speed limit. Get off your high horse and actually drive safely.
OP responded:
By 5-10 over I’m talking about the flow of traffic here. Like almost everyone is 5-10 over and therefore I match it to not be a hazard.
krugle_01 wrote:
NTA. I’m a car enthusiast myself. When I decide to speed and be a bit of a jackass I’m alone in my car and on a remote road with no one around me. See a car coming, slow it down. The intention is to have fun not kill someone. I’d never expect someone else to take part in it.
You are allowed to have boundaries and deny or accept risks youre subjected to. Your friend is horrible, he’s putting people, kids, families at risk by speeding in populated areas at an excess at that. They did not sign up to be rammed into by a guy trying to show off. He doesn’t care about how his actions can irreparably affect others.
OP responded:
I know. He literally jokes about hitting trees or guard rails and that if he dies, well then he lived his best. But I’ve tried to tell him that he can also affect other people on the road, and that he can easily kill a family of 4 but he sort of just brushes it off. Like I said he’s a great guy to hang out with but he’s extremely impulsive.
WhirlwindTobias wrote:
NTA. Hope when your friend eventually has an accident that it’s merely a wake up call and not life changing. I’d even tell him to make sure he doesn’t hit anyone when that happens. What other idiotic things does he do that compromises the well-being or safety of other people?
OP responded:
Nothing, other than that he wants to get a 1000CC bike and fly “220+” down the freeway.
JustKindaShimmy wrote:
Question: when you say 120, do you mean km/h or mph? One is a little quick and maybe unreasonable to refuse to step foot in a car, and the other is balls out insanity fast where you can lose control at any moment and kill everyone in the car if you hit a big enough pothole.
OP responded:
MPH.
Joessandwich wrote:
NTA. That’s beyond just speeding. That’s beyond reckless. That’s flat out insanity and extremely dangerous. I would never set foot in his car. Even 100 is crazy, I’ve never driven or been in a car going that fast.
And seeing as he’s joking about it, I’d be very cautious about getting in his car even if he says he’ll go the limit, I could easily see him trying to “prank” you and scare you. Remember: it’s YOUR life. Don’t risk it.
