Boyfriend gave me ultimatum – dream job or him. I’m considering taking the job
okay so i’m sierra (30f) and i work as a renewable energy consultant in boulder.
i’ve been with my boyfriend marcus (32m) for 2 years
last month i got offered a promotion. it’s basically my dream job. better title, significant raise (like $25k more), working on bigger projects, everything i’ve been working toward
the catch is it requires relocating to denver
which is only like 45 minutes away from boulder. less if traffic’s good. it’s not like i’m moving across the country
i told marcus and he immediately said no. like didn’t even think about it just said “no you can’t take that”
i said what do you mean i can’t take it. it’s an amazing opportunity
he said the commute would be too much (it wouldn’t, people do it every day) or we’d have to move to denver and he doesn’t want to leave boulder
i suggested he could look for work in denver. he’s in sales, there’s tons of sales jobs in denver. or we could do temporary long distance, i could stay in denver during the week and come back on weekends while he looks for a new job
he said if i’m even considering taking the job it means i prioritize my career over our relationship
which. i mean yeah? my career is important to me. i’ve been working toward this for years
we’ve been fighting about it for like 3 weeks now. it’s the same argument every time.
he says i’m being selfish. i say he’s being controlling
then yesterday he gave me an ultimatum. the job or him
i’m seriously considering taking the job
my best friend says marcus is showing his true colors and that he’s trying to control my career. my sister thinks i should try harder to find a compromise
but like.
what compromise is there? i either take my dream job or i don’t. there’s no middle ground
what compromise is there? i either take my dream job or i don’t. there’s no middle ground
marcus says if i really loved him i’d turn down the job and find something else in boulder. but i don’t WANT something else. this is the job i’ve been working for
and it’s not like i’m asking him to sacrifice anything huge. i’m asking him to either move 45 minutes away (which we could afford with my new salary) or do temporary long distance
he says it’s the principle. that i’m putting work before us. that if this is how i am now, what happens when we’re married or have kids
but we’re not married. we don’t have kids. and this is my career we’re talking about
i’m supposed to give them an answer by friday. that’s in 3 days
marcus says if i take the job we’re done. and i think. i think i’m okay with that?
which probably means i should take the job right
am i wrong for choosing my career over my relationship?
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