Back in 2018, I married my now ex-husband. He came from money and grew up in the upper class. He never lacked anything. I’m the complete opposite. Grew up extremely poor, and learned very early on that you have to work hard and have your own back. We met at his uncles restaurant, where I was a server. He came in one day to eat. I was his server. He asked for my number, and we hit it off. Or so I thought. After we got married, his true colors were quick to follow. A complete narcissist (actually diagnosed).
This story takes place when I meet his sister and her bf for the first time. We pick them up from the airport, and as he introduces us, she eagerly says “omg she’s totally Jordans!” Her bf agrees, and my husband chuckles.
I’m like, “What is Jordans?” And my husband tells me that it means I have great stile. I thank her for the compliment and think nothing of it. Throughout their visit, they start calling me Jordans, and I accept it as a cute nickname. Like “great they like me.” That was until one night we decided to all get drunk.
We popped open some wine, and as we drank more and more, they started commenting on how shitty and cheap my wine was. I kinda shook it off as they decided to play stupid drinking games. Truth or dare was one of them. My husband’s sister dared him to tell me what Jordans was. They are all laughing like chickens and totally drunk. He says, “Jordans is the name we give homeless people who have swag.”
I’m completely dumbfounded as they all burst out into more laughter. I was not as drunk as everyone else, and just sat there trying not to cry. Fast-forward to the next day, I asked my hungover husband wtf was their problem. He had completely removed that fact that he had told me. He started saying, “It’s just a joke, don’t take it seriously.” I didn’t let it go and kept pressing the matter. He finally told me. ” I may have told them about your upbringing and how you are not like us. Just to prepare them.”
I was in complete shock. To prepare them? For me? I could not believe what I was hearing. I spent the next few days to myself, making excuses, staying busy.
My husband had bought an expensive bottle of tequila that we were supposed to drink the night before they left. The day before the last, they went on a hike, which i excused myself from. Time for a little payback mf’s. Let’s test your elite pallets. I video tape myself, swapping out the expensive bottle of tequila for sauza gold. In the video I sit back and enjoy shots of tequila talking about my upbringing, the love and closeness I share with my family, and how fortunate I was to have grown up not becoming a disgusting pos snobb like the family I married into. I mean, I went off. I got drunk and went to bed by the time they got back. So I didn’t have to engage, and they didn’t know I was drunk off $200 worth of tequila.
The last night I watched these idiots sip the tequila like wine and comment on how distinguished and delicate it was. They mentioned you could taste the quality. I’m sitting there enjoying every word that came out of their mouths. I then get up, connect my phone to the TV, and say, “I put something together for you guys to say thank you for your visit.” I hit play and watch as they started to understand what just happened and what they were drinking.
Satisfied, I start gathering shot glasses off the table while the echo of total silence hit the walls. They said nothing to me. I went to bed only to have my husband wake me up in outrage, telling me his sister was crying because I humiliated them. I just say “yeah sucks doesn’t it?”
They left the next day and never spoke to me again. Even when we visited their parents (they all live in Europe) she refused to come see us.
Safe to say I’m Happily Divorced.
