“AITA for cutting off my father and stepfamily after he gave my inheritance to my stepbrother?”
I am a 52yo woman. When I was 10 my parents divorced, dad leaving mom for a woman w/kids that were older than me and my sister, essentially they didn’t live at home(important for later).
My whole early childhood my dad had a guitar. Nothing fancy, an old Telecaster from the 60s. He promised it to me for as long as I can remember. My stepbrother, Ronnie(real name because who cares), plays and I don’t. The argument started when I was 16, he thinks he should get it because he plays, and I think I should get it because, well, its my dad and its been promised to me.
About 15 years ago, my sister and I went down for a visit and both step siblings and my dad and stepmom sat down with us and we went through the house dividing up what we wanted. I ONLY WANTED THE GUITAR.
Not either of the classic cars, not the juke box, nothing but the guitar. We argued for a couple hours before Ronnie gave in and shut up about it. It was all written down and we all signed it. I never brought it up again.
Christmas of 2023 my dad came up for a visit. We spent plenty of time together. When he was with my mom and sister he casually mentioned “hey, I gave the guitar to Ron”… my mom and sis were speechless.
After a bit, they asked if he was going to tell me, he said he didn’t think it was important. After he left, my mom told me. I was so pissed, I cant even describe it. He called me after a few days and said “hey, you don’t mind that i gave the guitar to Ronnie, do you?” I said “yes, yes I do.” And that he better get it back.
Well, that turned into a whole thing. Ronnie had been bugging my dad about it every weekend for months and since I hadn’t asked about it in a long time, he figured I didn’t want it anymore.
Yeah, I didn’t ask about it because my dad is STILL ALIVE. Do you bug relatives for inheritances while they’re still alive? I don’t. So, after a lot of back and forth, I told him to forget it but never to text me again. He texts me every holiday and birthday, but I ignore him. AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Jessy_Kiser
NTA, while I am a firm believer that people can do what they want with their own stuff what is problematic is that he promised it to you, willed it to you, and then gave it away. I don’t make a habit of staying in touch with people who don’t keep their promises.
Glowmora
Exactly this is about broken promises not the guitar He knew what it meant to you and still chose otherwise Protecting your peace after that is valid.
ObligationNo2288
Just block him. He has his precious Ron NTA.
Impossible-Most-366
NTA, all I wanted from my father was a book, that he gave to someone who didn’t care at all about it, or understood why he got it. I think it was thrown away, and for me it had so much memory, my childhood was spent in that book. I can totally relate.
l3ex_G
Nta I think it’s more about what the guitar represents and your father should have given it to you if he was willing to part with it before he passed away. Your dad is trying to be a coward hiding the fact that he gave it to his step son.
He knew it would hurt you and didn’t want to deal with it. I am usually of the mind that your dad can make his own choices but how he went about it isn’t okay and it’s hurtful.
Hidden_Vixen21
NTA. Because it was the only thing you asked for and you all agreed prior to this. I think that the betrayal alone is to cut people out for.
Witty-Stock-4913
NTA. This doesn’t feel like it’s about the guitar. You’ve made it clear to your dad that this is the only thing you want, and it was an easy way for him to show you he prioritizes you.
He’s now shown you he has zero interest in you because he wouldn’t do the one thing that he knew, for a fact, was important to you. I also wouldn’t keep banging my head against the wall of a parent who doesn’t see me and doesn’t care.
shammy_dammy
NTA. You don’t want him in your life anymore. Pretty simple. He made a decision and now he can deal with the consequences. But honestly, if you don’t want him to ever text you again, you should block him.
Geezell
I disagree with quite a few of the comments here…..I can’t imagine a parent going against the wants of a his actual child over the only object that kid requested to have to remember them by after they. are. dead.
She doesn’t have to play the guitar for it to be an object that opens magical memory portal. It was her only ask and he gives into the whining wants of the older step kid after putting it in writing that she could have her only ask. She’s NTA. Dad told her in his actions that her memories of him don’t matter. Sounds reasonable that she cuts him out earlier than later.
Impressive_Yam_7224
NTA — I absolutely hate stupid parents who prioritise their step children over their own biological kids … WTH is wrong with these spineless lizards who become sycophants of their new wife and her kids !! Cut the disloyal man out of your Life for good … this is betrayal and mistrust.
Comfortable-Focus123
NTA – I think some of the commenters are missing the point here. Your dad had promised the guitar to you, and reneged on the promise without informing you or even a discussion.
Even if you never played the guitar, it meant something to you Both your mom and sister realize it. I have an old baseball jacket from my dad. It does not even fit me anymore, but when I see it, I think of him.
