AITA for implying my uncle ended his wife’s career
My uncle’s wife was an actress. Her parents were actors with her Dad being very accomplished and successful for his time. She and her sister became actresses but retired/changed careers. I watched some of the shows she was in and I was stunned when I learned my uncle was going out with her and then married her. I’ve spoken to her several times and am on good terms with her.
Recently I paid them a visit. She wasn’t in so I spoke with my uncle. I visited for New Years and because I wanted to show them a video of an album she did when she was 16 that I found online. It was her singing popular songs from the time, she never became a singer but she sounded amazing in it. The video, at the same time did feel a bit poignant, it felt like an image of who she was/what she could have been and what her parents wanted for her.
My uncle agreed that she sounded lovely and joked whether she should have done that instead of acting. He then sarcastically joked that maybe she chose wrong and could have been minted. These remarks annoyed me, I felt like he doesn’t really appreciate the talent she had and how much she sacrificed for their marriage. I challenged him and asked hypothetically where he thought she would be if she never met him. He was puzzled and guessed maybe still acting or settled with someone else. For some context, my uncle was a big farmer and that profession is really labour intensive. She had to help him with the physical tasks, doing the books, side jobs and then they had kids and that put the final nail in her acting career.
I pointed out how there is a correlation in her taking on less acting roles and when she met him and how having to help him with the farm obviously contributed to her quitting. He was annoyed and replied it’s been nearly 30 years since she quit and that it’s a bit late for that insight. He didn’t address my point. I said I’m not judging him just that she did sacrifice a lot for him. She told me before, she was offered the chance to audition for a major movie in the 90s that she now loves but declined due to her relationship and not wanting to travel abroad. I told him this and again he refused to acknowledge the point repeating it was so long ago and asserting that she was done with acting at that point. He then asked me to wait for her to return and tell her this insight and see what she thinks. I was a bit freaked out as it came across as on the spot and I could tell it was getting under his skin so I apologised and changed the topic and left shortly after.
Later his wife phoned me and she took his side based on whatever spin he told her saying I was being judgemental. I just agreed because I didn’t want to escalate this so I quickly changed the topic to the album and the rest of the call went normally. I think my uncle is acting extremely petty and insecure. I’m not judging him or vilifying him. I just want him to understand how much she sacrificed for their marriage.
Facebook
X.com
LinkedIn
Instagram
Pinterest
More
