WIBTAH if I tell my parents I don’t wanna fight cancer?
A couple of weeks ago I 16M was diagnosed with stage 4 Lymphoma, it’s a form of cancer that doesn’t often get detected till much later, I’ve been really sick for weeks before getting diagnosed and I had a really high fever and I stayed for over a week at the hospital and they did a bunch of tests on me to find out what was wrong, and I had cancer that’s already spread throughout my body.
My parents and family are devastated but they’re all so supportive of me, my dad hasn’t left my side since going to the hospital where I still am today, he even showers and sleeps here with me, but the thing is that I’m the oldest of 4 siblings, they still have my 3 sisters to take care of and my family aren’t that rich in the first place, and chemo and other treatments are so fucking expensive, like when the doctors and our oncologist team told us about how much everything costs I felt my heart drop and I just saw fear on my parent’s faces, even with our insurance and everything my parents would go in debt for the rest of their lives if I decided to fully fight it, my little sisters would suffer so much because of me. I don’t want that. I want them to be happy and safe and I want them all to have a chance at a happy future my parents included, they did so much for us I don’t want them working themselves to death for me I want them to eventually retire and enjoy life.
Am I scared of this? Yea I don’t wanna die, but living while knowing I ruined my entire family would be worse than death for me, I also don’t wanna go through chemo, my aunt dad’s little sister died of cancer back in 2023 and she did chemo for like 6 years and it sucked her soul out, yes she lived longer but they weren’t happy or good years they were horrible, I don’t want that because I’ll live a horrible life even if it’s a bit longer and I’d destroy my family’s lives in the process while still dying either way.
Would I be an asshole if I tell them how I’m feeling? I feel like they’d all hate me so much for it but it’s for them that I’m doing this because I love them
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