i’ve been mailing my toenail clippings to my childhood bully once a month for 11 years. no return address. no note.
so this is weird and i’ve never told anyone but here we go.
when i was in middle school there was this kid marcus who made my life miserable. like not just regular bullying, he was creative about it. one time he convinced half our grade that i shit myself at a sleepover that i wasn’t even at. another time he found out i had a crush on this girl emily and he asked her out specifically to tell me about it in detail. just cruel stuff constantly for like 3 years.
anyway fast forward to 2014. i’m in college, haven’t thought about marcus in a while. i’m scrolling facebook and i see his mom posted something about a garage sale and her address was right there in the post. i screenshot it. don’t know why. just did.
so that night i’m clipping my toenails watching tv and i look at the little pile and i look at my phone with the screenshot and i just thought….
i put them in an envelope. no note. no return address. mailed it the next day. felt stupid immediately after. figured that was it, got it out of my system, whatever.
but then a month later i’m clipping my toenails again and i just. did it again.
that was 11 years ago. i have not missed a single month. i’ve mailed them from different cities when i’m traveling for work. i don’t even think about it that much anymore it’s just part of my routine now. first of the month, rent and toenails.
the thing is i have no idea if he even opens them. or if he throws them away immediately. or if his wife opens the mail and has been hiding it from him for years. i have genuinely no idea and honestly i don’t really care? like i’m not doing this for a reaction. i think i just like knowing that somewhere out there these envelopes exist.
i looked him up recently and he’s got a wife and kids now. nice house. seems happy. good for him i guess. i found his new address when they moved a few years ago. took like 10 minutes.
sometimes i wonder if i should stop. i have a decent job and a wife too and normal life stuff. and also once a month i mail my toenails to a man who was mean to me when we were 12. there’s probably something wrong with me.
anyway yeah that’s it. felt like typing it out finally
