“What do I 24F do and/or tell my boyfriend 24M about my inheritance?”

I inherited almost 375,000 from my Nana (my mother’s aunt who raised her). Up until today my entire family was under the impression that there was no will as that is what we’ve been told this whole time by the executor.

After getting some mail this week, we (me and my sister) thought that without a will my mother’s birth mother (Nana’s sister) would try to contest to get the money. We now know that my Nana got a fully notarized will in February 2023 stating very clearly that her entire estate ($750,000) was to go to me and my sibling ONLY. Overnight my entire life has been changed.

My boyfriend (24M) and I (24F) are in bad bad home life situations (mine is non-physical and financial manipulation, while his is unlivable conditions and poverty.) with the family members we live with.

I KNOW this money could get us both out of where we are. But as of a week ago, I didn’t think I’d get anything AT ALL and had accepted the best course of action for my personal future was making sure once I leave this house I can 100% financially take care of myself and never have to rely on anyone else again financially no matter what.

I came to terms with having to suffer for a minimum of 2 more years (1 to left to graduate trade school and 1 to get a job in that field, and can save up) before he and I could move out together.

This gives us both to use these two years to figure out ourselves education wise and save up whatever we can in that time we have while our bills we have now are laughable compared to the cost of living in California in 2026 even as a couple with two incomes. I also have almost 100k in debt (credit cards, school loans, medical, car).

I plan to pay it all off. After paying those debts I will only pay $500 a month in bills ( only phone+ insurance + rent+ copays for medical ) as opposed to the $1,200 of bills I have been paying for years just living in my childhood home and having 0 disposable income . $20,000 will be put into an emergency savings account and for the first time in my life I have more than $5,000 to my name.

$5,000 will go into my checking for personal use but in no way to blow all at once. More like enjoy being able to afford to go out with friends at all, or buy a coffee without budgeting or replacing decade old things in my room I hav insta in for at least two more years, getting an oil change when the light goes on and not 2,000 miles after when I finally saved up enough.

After everything I will have 250,000 I plan to put into investments so by the time I do graduate and leave school I am absolutely more than set (at least I hope🤞🏻) Here’s the issue at hand. I don’t know what to tell my boyfriend.

He’s been aware of this entire will situation I’ve been dealing with but like I said we thought there was absolutely no will and it would be constant court battles so we ( me and my sister) accepted that we probably wouldn’t get a thing and basically overnight my life has changed. I don’t like lying but I also know that money makes people do ugly things and can make them selfish.

I don’t plan on telling anyone who is aware of the situation and my Nana’s passing the $ amount me and my sister got, even if they ask. This goes for friends, our partners, and family, including our own mom. Of course I know that the will is a public court document so if anyone truly wanted to know they would be able to find it after doing research.

What do I tell my boyfriend? We have no children, do not live together, and are not engaged but we have plans for our future which includes all of the above. I’ve read too many horror stories on the internet of money making people do ugly things to the people they supposedly love.

Most people told themselves before that that person could never or would never do such a thing and it still happens. I do not think he would do that to me at all but I’ve read that story too many times to not know I have to protect myself at all costs. What can I say that isn’t a lie but also doesn’t give away I have life changing money now?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

MoonShinerTX wrote:

I am old and have seen people get this type of money and waste the oppurtunity you have been given. Boyfriend has no need to know for starters. Seriously what does the relationship gain from you telling him? Invest 75% of that money at the minimum. Put it where you can not make a impulse decision and spend it.

Lock it up in CDs until a better way of investing it presents itself. What is your career goal? Have you reached that goal? If not use this money to help you reach that goal. Pay for the school and give yourself a weekly part time amount check so that you can focus at the school. DO NOT rent a apartment and blow 2k in rent a month when you could stay with your mom or board at the school.

The goal would be to reach your career intro job and still have at least 100k left minimally. Enough that when you start your career you can put a down-payment on a house. Furnish the house and if possible have a reasonable car that will last you years. At your age this is a unreal opportunity. If you mess this up you will seriously hate yourself for a long time so make calculated decisions.

Kevix_NYC wrote:

I would love to think you’ll get married and live happily ever after. But this income is yours and it could secure your future. I’d talk to a financial advisor and make sure the bulk of your money is safely invested. and keep some small % for your current needs. You may consider a pre-nup.

I might say that you had an inheritance and that it will help with some of your financial needs. Leave it at that. I think people should contribute in proportional way to expenses based upon your job’s income you have now. At some point, if you want to get married, I’d talk more about it.

So just keep living your life and when the time some, you can have a more serious chat. You are entitled to have parts of your life private. Even Esther Perel says that I think. If you break up a year from now, that will avoid a lot of issues. and there won’t be any asking for a Ferrari.

poopypantsbutthole_ wrote:

I wouldn’t bring it up at all, at least until you get engaged/move in and start seriously planning for your life together. If he specifically asks about your debt you can tell him about the inheritance and how it helped but I wouldn’t mention the extra money it gave you.

eistop wrote:

If you have to tell him something, tell him you received enough money to pay off your debt and have the emergency fund. Like you said invest the 250k and watch it grow. If/when you become engaged, have a pre-nuptial drawn up and signed; for your investment’s protection and a nest egg if anything should happen in the marriage.