AITA for using the baby name my SIL wants to use
AITA for “Stealing” My SIL’s Dream Baby Name?
A pregnant woman is questioning if she’s wrong for using a baby name her sister-in-law claims she planned to use someday.
A pregnant mom-to-be is facing family backlash after choosing a baby name her sister-in-law claims she’s been “saving” for years.
Let’s break it down
The backstory and early dynamics
A couple in their mid-30s is expecting their second child—a baby girl—after already welcoming a son two years ago.
Baby names came up naturally, and when asked, they shared their shortlist with family.
Their top pick? A very popular girls’ name that’s been in the Top 10 for years. Nothing obscure. Nothing invented.
At the time, no one raised concerns.
The moment things shifted
That changed when the husband’s sister—who already has a 3-month-old daughter—pulled them aside.
She said that the name they love is the name she’s always planned to use for a future daughter.
When asked why she didn’t use it for her own baby, she claimed her husband chose their daughter’s name and that this one was still “reserved” in her heart.
She then asked the expecting couple to choose any other name and save this one for her—despite not planning another pregnancy for years and not even knowing if she’ll have another daughter.
The final confrontation
Here’s where things got complicated.
While the couple didn’t choose the name because of family history, it turns out the name belonged to the mom’s great-grandmother. When her own mother heard the name, she became emotional—it was her grandmother’s name.
That moment made the name feel unexpectedly meaningful.
Meanwhile, the sister-in-law began venting to extended family. Soon, the in-laws and even an aunt started calling with “helpful” alternative name suggestions.
The husband finally put his foot down.
He made it clear: they weren’t changing the name.
The fallout
Now the mom-to-be feels torn.
On one hand, no one owns a baby name—especially a popular one.
On the other, the growing family pressure has made her feel guilty, stressed, and regretful for ever sharing their name list.
She’s left wondering: Am I being selfish… or just setting a reasonable boundary?
What Reddit Thinks
Most Redditors would likely land firmly on NTA (Not the A-hole).
Sample reactions:
“You don’t get to reserve names for hypothetical future children. That’s not how life works.”
“It’s a Top 10 name and has family meaning for you. SIL can still use it too.”
“This is why you never share baby names early—someone always claims it.”
A few might lean mixed, suggesting both sides cool off—but the overwhelming sentiment would support the parents using the name.
A Final Thought
Baby names stir up deep emotions, but at what point does honoring someone else’s hypothetical future cross into sacrificing your own joy?
If no one owns a name… should guilt still decide?
