“AITA for testifying after my neighbor left his twin children behind?”

I live in a quiet neighborhood where most people keep to themselves. A few years ago, my neighbor Mark mid 30s moved in next door with his twin kids, who were around 6 at the time. He was a single dad and, from what I could tell, things were…chaotic, but I didn’t think much of it beyond normal life stress.

Over time, I started noticing small things. The kids were outside alone a lot, sometimes late. They would knock on my door asking if I had spare food because they missed dinner. I assumed Mark was working long hours and tried not to judge. I helped occasionally, but I didn’t want to overstep or cause drama.

Then one weekend, the kids showed up at my door with backpacks, asking if they could stay until dad comes back. I thought it was strange but figured maybe he ran an errand. Hours passed. Then overnight. Then the next day. I tried calling Mark using a number I had for emergencies it went straight to voicemail. I contacted another neighbor to ask if they’d seen him. They hadn’t.

At that point, I called the non-emergency line because I didn’t feel comfortable being responsible for two kids indefinitely, and I was genuinely concerned. Authorities got involved and eventually located Mark in another state. He had left without making arrangements for the kids, assuming someone would figure it out. Fast forward to recently, there was a court case regarding custody and abandonment.

I was asked to testify about what I had witnessed timelines, the kids showing up alone, my attempts to reach him, etc. I answered honestly. I didn’t add opinions, just facts. Mark is now furious with me. He says I ruined his life, that I should’ve minded my own business, and that neighbors should handle things off the record.

I honestly didn’t want to be involved at all, but I also didn’t feel right downplaying what happened when asked directly. Still, I keep wondering if I should’ve refused to testify or found a way to stay out of it entirely. So, AITA for testifying in court about my neighbor’s kids being left behind?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

ichbinschizophrenia wrote:

NTA- it became ‘your business’ when two little kids rocked up on your doorstep because their dad had screwed off for gods-know-how-long. Imagine if they hadn’t found a /safe/ adult and wound up hurt. He messed up his /own/ life when he chose to abandon his kids.

OP responded:

THANK YOU!

schlemiel88 wrote:

He neglected and abandoned his children, likely leaving them with trauma they will grapple with for years to come. If he didn’t want his life “ruined,” he should not have done what he did. You were one of the few people who seemed to have these kids’ best interest at heart and acted accordingly. Please release yourself from any second guessing.

ben129708 wrote:

NTA. To summarize this the kids were neglected obviously. They were outside at unusual times and obviously didn’t have enough food. That alone would’ve warranted to call child services. Because yes possibly Mark had to work but lots of parents have to work and still offer enough food for their children and organise someone to watch them instead of letting them play outside.

So finally the guy just disappears and the kids show up at your door. You take them in (which is very thoughtful of you) instead of calling emergency or child services right away (which would’ve been OK given the history) you take them in. So you gave him a 2nd chance already.

You tried to call him (3rd chance) and waited until next day (4th chance) and only then called authorities. You got ordered to court to make your testimony which you gave and you left out the pre-story and you still think YOU were wrong?

Whats the alternative? The kids stay with Mark and end up being neglected by him until something real bad happens? You acted right. Mark is an AH and he brought that on himself and his poor kids. I’m sorry for the kids. I’m not sorry for Mark.

Cumlockandload wrote:

NTA at all despite what Mark says. You were looking out for those kids’ welfare when no one else was. Testifying was tough but definitely the right call here.

Cassowary32 wrote:

NTA. Please let the court know his reaction to your testimony. Has he done this before? How do you leave children over a weekend without arranging care and just expect the universe to provide without consequences?? The children are lucky you stepped up. Mark should be locked up.

Pandoratastic wrote:

NTA. The fact that Mark is furious about it doesn’t mean anything. You already know that his judgment is not to be trusted. He demonstrated that when he made such terrible choices and endangered his children by abandoning them. You would only be the AH if you did not testify.

Infernalmentor wrote:

NTA: If he needed assistance, all he needed to do was ask. Most people will help out a parent who is struggling. It sounds like you were one of those neighbors. You should feel good about yourself for helping those kids when you had the chance. You should feel better that you intervened enough to get them the long-term assistance they needed.

Honesty and forthrightness go a long way when you ask strangers for help. You did not mention that the kids caused problems, which suggests they were probably very well-behaved. Who would not be willing to look after a couple of kids like that for a few days? However, when a parent abandons their kids for the neighbors to care for them, without asking, that is child abandonment.

The father needs to be held accountable. He will likely have the kids returned to him after some parenting courses and perhaps a few court-ordered therapy sessions. The fact that he requested your assistance is enough to prevent him from facing criminal negligence charges. Always prioritize the kids’ safety and concerns, and address the adults’ feelings later.

Koquet wrote:

NTA. Those kids could have been in serious danger if it had been someone else who stepped in. Nowadays, you can’t just trust people. You did good OP and fyi: you didn’t ruin his life, he did. No wonder why he’s a single parent to begin with if this had been his behavior.