My daughter recently had a break up.
I was texting with my nephew who had been hanging out with my daughter’s friend recently and sent me a picture of the two of them. This friend also had recently seen my daughter’s ex right before seeing my nephew.
I mentioned something to my nephew about my daughter’s other ex boyfriend from 2 years ago, who is still friends with her. He replied “You mean the guy she refuses to break up with?” I said noooo…. what do you mean? He sort of hedged and mentioned the recent ex. I started to connect the dots and asked him if my daughter’s friend had told him that. He said “no, forget I said anything. It must have been something someone said to me last summer.” Which is stupid because back then they were happily together.
I replied “X and her boyfriend had been on pause since Sept and they agreed to go their separate ways last week.” and he replied “oh so they did break up?” I said yes, but he is still coming for a party at our house with their friend group as they agreed, and it should be okay as there will be lots of people there who are still in town on college break. He started to pepper me with questions like why wouldn’t my daughter just not have him over and should leave him alone (?) He doesn’t even know my daughter’s ex. I told him it wasn’t such a big deal and if he had just asked my daughter she’d have told him all about it. Then he wouldn’t say anything else.
Anyway… the party rolls around and the ex decides it’s still too soon so he doesn’t come. But, the friend who saw my nephew was first there and as soon as she came in my daughter told her about what happened with my nephew. She told my daughter that she’d seen the ex last week and asked him if he and my daughter were still dating. Instead of just telling her no and moving on, apparently the ex told her and everyone else there (they were at brunch with some of the same friend group but who couldn’t make it to the party) that my daughter refused to break up with him and was following him around and getting angry (!?) Literally 100% of what he said was untrue and my daughter had his texts to prove it so she showed her and everyone else at the party. I’m not sure of the reason why the ex did this but he’s been in a bad place and I guess he felt he needed to put her down to feel better. Both my daughter and I were shocked though, because he’s actually an okay kid but who has been having a difficult time.
My question is would I be TA for texting my nephew to tell him how upset I am about him not only lying to me but believing a rumor like that about his cousin that was spread by someone he barely knows? He could have texted her to ask or just tell her what happened. He’s 18 and he was talking about her to me in such a high-handed way about her still letting her ex come to the party.
My daughter’s feeling pretty bummed and somehow having him pile on made it worse for her. I’d prefer her to text her cousin but I’m not sure she will so at least I want to skewer him for lying about it to me 
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