AITA for not wearing a bra at home?
NSFW tag added just to be safe, discussion about undergarments.
Context that I think is relevant: I am 28f and married to 32m. We live in a house that we bought together. For like 8 years I haven’t really worn a bra except to work or if I’m going out to a specific event (ie a party or a wedding or a date etc) or to do exercise. My husband hasn’t seemed to have a problem with it until recently, and I’m not even sure it’s him that has a problem. About 6 months ago, he told me that he was offering our guest room to one of his work friends who was being evicted (not his fault, if anyone finds that relevant) until he could find another place to live. So friend (late 30s m) moves some stuff in, sets up in our guest room, and husband and friend hang out basically 24/7. Husband has been acting different since friend moved in, which is why I’m unsure who has the problem. Friend had made no effort to find another place to live after 4 months and husband was not charging rent until I asked him to, they came to an agreement last month and friend has not made a rent payment yet.
Onto the conflict: As I said above, I don’t wear a bra except for certain situations, and being home is definitely not one of those situations. I like to be comfortable, especially in my own home. Husband came to me two days ago asking if I could start wearing a bra at home when friend is home. I asked why, he said so that I am decent with another man around. I am never openly indecent when he is home, and I shut both our bedroom door and our bathroom door when I shower and change for bed and work whether friend is home or not. I am mindful of my appearance when friend is home and am never without pants or a top, just braless… I asked husband why all of a sudden me not wearing a bra was indecent. He couldn’t give me a good answer and just asked again if I would wear a bra at home and walked away (he is bad with conflict so he often walks away when I push back) then would not talk to me for the rest of the night. I asked again yesterday whether it was him or friend that was uncomfortable with me not wearing a bra at home and he said both. I reminded him that he did not ask me if friend could move in, and that this was my home too and that I should be allowed to be comfortable. I asked him why all of a sudden it was not okay that I don’t wear a bra, or if it was something that had been bothering him this whole time. He was obviously mad but would not engage with me anymore and continued to ignore me for the rest of the day. Friend has not said anything to me about it, but I could understand why he wouldn’t want to. He and I don’t talk much when husband isn’t home. Even if he did I would probably tell him to get over it because I live here too, and frankly my comfort is more of a priority than his since he’s been living in our house eating our food for free for six months. Husband has been at work all day, probably avoiding the conflict like he always does, so I haven’t had a chance to ask again.
So AITAH for not wearing a bra at home? Am I just being stubborn or am I justified in my line of thinking?
