AITA for telling my girlfriend I’m tired of chasing her after 6 years together?

My girlfriend (30F) and I (31M) have been together for 6 years. I’ve been planning to propose soon, but I’ve been struggling with issues I’ve brought up since day 1 of our relationship that haven’t changed. The main issue: I feel like I’m constantly chasing her for attention and affection, especially in social settings. When we’re in groups with her family or friends, she won’t come to me – I always have to go to her. She won’t initiate conversation with me unless I speak first, and even then she just gives short answers without asking me anything back. When I suggest things, she’ll say no, but when someone else suggests the exact same thing, she’ll do it. What makes this harder is that she’s bubbly and engaging with other people, but cold towards me. It’s like she saves all her warmth for everyone else. I feel she always prioritize her convenience instead of our relationship.

Some examples of what I mean:

1. We usually meet closer to her place (2 hours commute for me). Even for my birthday celebration (we plan each other’s birthday), she still wanted me to travel to her area rather than meeting somewhere more convenient for me.
2. At social gatherings with her family, she’ll leave me alone without saying anything, even though I don’t know her family well and was expecting her to include me or at least stay with me, or just check in from time to time if I’m alright.
3. When our relationship was struggling and was about to break up, I suggested couples therapy (which I offered to pay for). Her first concern was that the location was inconvenient for her.

I’ve raised these issues repeatedly over 6 years, but nothing has changed. Recently, I sent her a message saying that after 6 years together, I don’t want to feel like I’m still chasing her or courting her, and that I’m not going to pursue her all the time anymore. Her response was just “?” and then silence. It’s been over a day and she hasn’t messaged me. Historically, I’ve always been the one to reach out first and apologize, even when I’m the one who’s hurt.

I decided not to respond to the “?” because I felt like that would just be chasing her again. But now I’m second-guessing myself – was I too confrontational? She’s never been in a relationship before, so maybe she doesn’t understand what she’s doing?

AITA?

** Thank you guys for all of the advice, I’m now starting to see how dumb I am for not considering to end this sooner, I will not message her and will give an update if she ever reach out. Also an info I wanted to add: I lost my father 2 years ago and I’ve been struggling with depression, I guess part of the reason i put up with this is that I really didn’t want to lose another important person in my life

** This is mostly on social settings, but its fine when its only the two of us, we were happy the past years, though yes she indeed have selfish tendencies sometimes, and I’m at my limit about this issue I guess.

*** Let me clarify the dynamics with her family, the main thing is that I’m still sort of the “outsider” and shes much closer to them compared to me because I only see them a couple times a year. I actually sometimes feel much more comfortable conversing with her family than her because they would ask me questions to extend the conversation, I actually got super close with her 2 male cousins instantly because i found out we share some hobbies in gaming and anime. But even with this, is it not fair for me to expect her to come to me from time to time and not me chasing her around all day? Or is it too much overthinking?