I dropped out of my sister’s wedding at the last minute.
Storytime!

Hi! So my sister (29F) is having her wedding in two weeks. Both my wife (36F) and I(37M) are in the wedding. My wife is a bridesmaid, and I’m officiating.
Over the course of her engagement and wedding planning, my sister, who was fairly normal and quiet before, has devolved into a nightmare. The reason my wife is a bridesmaid is because she had a falling out with two of her friends already, and she begged my wife to step in because “we family!” My wife obliged, but she said every meeting she’s been to, my sister is having a meltdown over everything, from the catering to “not being just right” or the colors being “a shade too dark.” According to my wife, these are full blown, toddler tantrum meltdowns, for problems that were easily fixed with some communication, often just a simple email.
My sister uninvited a cousin for daring to get pregnant. A friend of hers was uninvited because she was in a car accident and she didn’t want the scars in the pictures. At her first cake tasting she got so mad she threw a plate at an assistant, causing the bakery to drop her as a client (and she caught an assault charge. Led to some fines, a nice settlement for the assistant, and some community service.).
So yeah, just… absolute bridezilla. Honestly, if I wasn’t immediate family, I would’ve probably noped out of her wedding so much sooner.
Now the reason why we’re both dropping is due, in part, to the fact that my sister wanted a child free wedding.
My wife and I are not opposed to this. We have a toddler (4M) and he would in no way be patient enough to sit quietly through the wedding Not to mention one of us

My wife and I are not opposed to this. We have a toddler (4M) and he would in no way be patient enough to sit quietly through the wedding. Not to mention one of us would always have to be hyper vigilant in watching him. There were other guests who were apparently peeved over the child free wedding. My wife and I were not. It was great. We arranged for our son to go to my SIL for the weekend. He would have a blast with his cousins (4 of them from 2-8), and my wife and I, outside our wedding duties would have a mini vacation to ourselves. Win-win in my book. (To note, the venue is a 4-5 hr drive away from where we live at one of those all inclusive resorts)
But then last week, my wife came home after an “emergency meeting” with my sister visibly upset. She didn’t want to tell me what happened at first, but I eventually coaxed it out of her. Apparently my sister got it in her head that she would like to have some children around, but not at the ceremony or reception, just as props for photos. So she wanted us to bring our son just for that. When my wife asked what we would do with our son when he wasn’t being used in the photos, my sister just shrugged and told her to “figure it out” offering such amazingly helpful suggestions as “just hire a babysitter” or “just leave him in your room with an iPad.” (For hours on end?!)
The resort itself doesn’t offer babysitting services. There is a Kid’s Club, but we would have to leave pretty early on in the reception to pick him up before they close. This was apparently *unacceptable* to my sister. Eventually, my sister got agitated and had another meltdown. She became verbally abusive, accusing my wife of “sabotaging” her wedding because she was “jealous.” (My sister is probably referring to the fact that my wife and I got married during Covid. Instead of waiting, we just wanted to be married, so we had a court house wedding over Zoom. It was great). My sister apparently also threatened to tell me that my wife was cheating (not sure why my sister thinks this would work since my wife and I