AITAH for Refusing to Renew Our Lease Until He Proposes?
Hey everyone, I’m (27F) and I’ve been with my boyfriend (31M) for 6 years now. Early on in our relationship, I told him I really wanted to be engaged before completing 4years into the relationship, and he agreed back then. Fast forward to about six months before our 4th anniversary, I brought up marriage again, expecting us to be moving forward. But he was still finishing his master’s and said he needed to get out of debt and sort out his finances first.
I wanted to be supportive, so I kept quiet and tried to be patient. Honestly he make good money, and we’ve lived together since year 2. When he did his master’s, I even moved three hours away from my hometown to be closer since my job is remote.
But seeing friends and family get engaged and married has been really tough everyone asks about my ring finger, and it just feels empty.
Lately, he’s been doing great at work and seems so happy with his life, but it’s like he forgot about what we talked about. When I brought it up again, he seemed hesitant. He says he can’t afford a ring or a wedding yet, but he’s been talking about buying that motorbike he’s wanted since he was a kid.
He said, “Our life is good as it is. Why do we need some piece of paper? You have your own health insurance, so what’s the point?” That really broke me, after all these years, I was thinking: why don’t I deserve to be his wife? Doesn’t he love me enough to make this romantic gesture? To choose me over a bike?
I talked to my sister, who got engaged after two years, and she told me to pull back on “wife duties” until I get that title like not cooking, not cleaning, maybe even moving out, and not covering his expenses sometimes. Well when I didn’t renew our lease with him, he got really upset.
He said I was handling things terribly and that we need stability in our lives to keep the things going like we had. He said I’m setting a bad atmosphere for marriage. I told him, “I’ve been acting like your wife without the title, giving you everything, and now I’m just your girlfriend again. I’m not about ultimatums, but if you want us to get back to where we were, you need to step up and fix things” soo Am I the asshole here?
