AITAH for cancelling a third date over a peanut allergy?
He Cancelled a Date Because He Loves Peanuts
A man is facing backlash after canceling a third date because his date’s peanut allergy conflicted with his lifestyle.
After two seemingly great dates, one man pulled the plug when he realized a serious peanut allergy might mean giving up a food he loves.
The Backstory and Early Dynamics
The setup sounded promising. A mutual friend played matchmaker, convinced these two would click.
Their first date was casual—coffee. The second, a peaceful walk through a botanical garden. Easy conversation. Good vibes. Enough chemistry to plan a third date: lunch.
That’s when the peanut allergy came up.
She explained it was life-threatening, not just a mild intolerance. He was sympathetic. They moved on. Plans stayed intact.
But after the date, he kept thinking.
The Moment Things Shifted
Peanuts weren’t just a snack for him. They were part of his lifestyle.
Peanut butter on food. Peanut products around the house. Even smeared on his dog’s toys, which get dragged across his apartment.
In his mind, a serious relationship would mean constant vigilance—or completely changing habits he had no interest in changing.
And that’s when he decided: better to end it now than later.
The Final Confrontation
He called to cancel the third date.
She assumed he wanted to reschedule.
Instead, he told her the truth.
He liked her. But he liked peanuts more—and didn’t trust himself to keep her safe. She pointed out that many couples manage severe allergies with precautions. He admitted he knew that.
He just didn’t want to do it.
Her response? A stunned “wow,” followed by calling him immature before hanging up.
The Fallout
The story didn’t end there.
She told the mutual friend. The verdict from her side was harsh: “massive douche.”
The friend wasn’t fully convinced—but still called his logic “definitely weird.”
Now he’s left wondering: was this honest boundary-setting… or selfish absurdity?
What Reddit Thinks
Overall verdict: Mixed, leaning NTA
Sample reactions:
- NTA: “Two dates in is exactly when you should walk away if you know you’re incompatible. Better now than after feelings grow.”
- YTA: “Choosing peanuts over a person is wild. It’s not like she asked you to quit breathing.”
- Mixed: “You’re not wrong for ending it early, but the reasoning is… bizarre. This could’ve been handled with more tact.”
A Final Thought
Is it more immature to walk away early—or to stay in a relationship knowing you’re unwilling to make sacrifices?
At what point does honesty cross the line into indifference?
