I need people’s input. A little back story first. My wife and I have been married 17yrs.

We have two children together. My wife works a steady 9-5. I work nights, but because of my job being dependent on weather I’ll have periods of time where I’m not working. My usual routine is to get all my work equipment ready starting the day of my scheduled work day. The reason being is that I have multiple batteries that must be fully charged. I also like to have laundry fresh clothes, so I will wash my clothes a few hours before I need to leave for work. My usual routine is to grab my pile of work clothes from the location in my closet where I left them after my last night of working. My clothes consist of thermals, work pants, work shirt, sweatshirt, and two sets of socks. Here is what I need input on. Yesterday I did my routine as usual. I tried to put my load of laundry in early, but my son had left his laundry in the washing machine for days. So I had two run a quick cycle to rewash his clothes because they were smelling mildewy. On tpo of getting my stuff ready I was asked, by my wife, to stop at Lowe’s and pick up 10, 25 pound bags of pellets for her horse. Then I also was asked to bring those pellets to the stable where she is leasing a couple stalls. She wanted me to put these bags in her horse trailer. The door to this house trailer was buried in snow. Which I had to shovel it else I would not be able to put the bags inside. As you can imagine it took a while. I also had to pick up a package that contained furniture for my daughter’s room. Which means I had to drive to the opposite side of town. I am normally the one that cooks dinner at my house. On nights when I work I usually don’t have enough time to cook, but on this night I made something in the crock pot. After coming back home from the store I prepped dinner and assembled the furniture, a small 9 drawer storage unit. With all this done it was a few hours away from me needing to go to work, so I rushed upstairs and grabbed my load of work clothes plus some other dirty clothes to fill the washer machine. I then finished the rest of dinner and took about 30 minutes to relax while I was waiting for my clothes to wash so I could put them in the dryer. After 30 minutes my son’s clothes were still drying so I decided I couldn’t wait. I usual take a nap before I go in for my night shift. I set my alarm to go off an hour and fifteen before I needed to be at work. I texted final instructions for dinner and asked if someone could put my clothes in the dryer. It takes me 15 minutes to drive to work. When I woke up my wife brought my laundry up. To my surprise a very important part of my work clothes was missing. I couldn’t find my thermals anywhere. After searching everywhere in the house I found my thermals in my son’s room, in his dirty hamper. My wife said, “Oh, he must have borrowed them the other day when I needed his help at the barn”. This irritated me because this is part of my work attire. He shouldn’t have used it or at the very least washed them and returned them as soon as possible. He had the whole week. When I voiced my irritation/anger my wife immediately turned on me and said, “I don’t like how your handling this right now”. She then proceeded to tell me how I’m wrong in this situation. Remember I’m still trying to get to work. I haven’t even gotten dressed or been able to eat dinner, because I now have less than 30 minutes to get to work. I’m trying to scramble.

Fast forward to today. After waking up I went to talk to my son and find out what the deal was. He mentioned to me that my why had given him the thermals to use while he was helping her at the barn. That’s not what she said last night. When I went to talk to her about this she proceeded to flat out lie and say, “I did tell you I let him borrow them”. She definitely did not. She then also started telling me that I’m a grown man and I should check to make sure that all my stuff is ready for work so I’m not scrambling looking for things at the last moment. My son is telling me it’s not his fault because I should’ve checked that all my clothes were there. I can say, sure I should’ve checked that I was washing all my clothes, but why should I have to check my clothes in my closet, to make sure that my wife hasn’t loaned out my work clothes?

Am I wrong? Do I need to apologize because I’m the A-hole?