AITAH for telling my wife’s friend I don’t have to see her in the classroom to know she’s a horrible teacher?
My wife’s friend was supposed to come watch fireworks with us tonight, but she just texted my wife that she isn’t coming because I’m a nasty person who encourages my child to be rude and disrespectful. My wife and I just had a small argument about the situation that ended with her pulling a Big Lebowski on me and saying I don’t have to be wrong to be an asshole. That’s true, but I think her friend is the asshole, not me. I’ll tell you what happened, and you decide for us.
My wife’s friend was at our house for dinner. She’s a teacher, and she complains about it a lot. She says the parents are impossible to deal with, the administration is not supportive, everyone has an opinion on curriculum and the kids don’t listen. I include these complaints as context for the discussion. She told my wife she was working on her lesson plan for February and Black History Month and that she was making a fact sheet about Martin Luther King Jr for her kids.
Our son, who is a huge Star Trek fan, said that she should include the fact that MLKJ was a Star Trek fan. My wife’s friend, with a very patronizing tone and expression I might add, said that maybe he would have been if he’d still been alive when it aired. My son said that he was, and that he used to watch it with his daughters. My wife’s friend said that he died before the show aired. I told her she was wrong and my son was right. She said I was a perfect example of a parent that can’t acknowledge when her child was wrong. I said no, you’re a perfect example of a teacher that assumes she knows everything and can’t connect with her students because she doesn’t respect them.
My wife forced us all to change the topic. After dessert I pulled up a video on YouTube where Nichelle Nichols was discussing talking to MLKJ about Star Trek. I showed it to everyone. My wife’s friend asked why I couldn’t let the topic lie. I said I didn’t want my son to feel like he was wrong for sharing facts he knows about his interests. My wife’s friend said I don’t know what it’s like to be a teacher. I said I don’t, but I know she’s a bad one. She said I’d never seen her in the classroom. I said I didn’t need to because I see how she is in her daily life, and people are who they are regardless of where they are.
So my wife’s argument is I’m an asshole for bringing the topic back up after it was settled. She said I could have played the video for our son after her friend left and taught him about giving others grace and not needing external validation. I disagree and think it is important our kid knows we will always stand up for him. So am I an asshole?
