I apologize in advance for the lengthy post, but I feel like the background is important.
My son is 22 and has been dating the same girl since freshman year of college. His girlfriend, Carrie, comes a family that is well off. They all have Teslas. When Carrie needed new tires, they bought her a new Tesla instead of tires. Last year Carrie decided she wanted to live in a house instead of the dorms. Her mom bought a $250k house, that Carrie and my son picked out. It’s in a nice neighborhood with an HOA. Her parents spent a lot of money putting in new floors, light fixtures, and furnishing the house. The mortgage is in Carrie and her mom’s name.
Carrie is the type where she wants the best of everything right now. Her mom said they’ve always given Cartie her way because it’s easier. Carrie yells, calls other people names, and throws a fit to get her way. She’s nasty and disrespectful to everyone, including my son and her parents. So I admit I’m not a fan.
Carrie and my son are graduating and both have great job offers. Carrie decided she wanted to buy her dream house now. They bought a lot in a subdivision of an expensive suburb. They also signed a contract to build a 550k house. They have to put 20% down. My son has asked if we will give them money for a down payment.
I feel like they should wait until they start their jobs and are established before spending so much. Plus they aren’t married. I feel like they should stay in their current house, save their money, and take their time to device everything they want for a new home.
Of course Carrie wants her house now and her parents are planning to give them money. Keep in mind her parents own businesses and stocks. The don’t have to go into an office per se. My husband makes great money. But he works 70-80 hours a week and comes home limping to get those nice checks.
My son made the comment that we hade plenty of money but we’re just not willing to help. We are 51 years old and trying to save in limited years we have left. We paid for his college, living expenses, plus gave him an F-150 4×4 crew cab truck with 20k miles. I feel like we’ve done a lot and shouldn’t be expected to pull $10-20k out of our retirement just so they can have their dream house at the age of 22. I see nothing wrong with staying in their current house to save a little money. If it was an emergency, we’d help
in a heartbeat. But this is a want, not a need. AITA for not wanting to contributing down payment?
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