AITAH for spending Christmas/New Year with my ex in-laws because my family invited my ex over for Christmas?
Basically we split after age came out as a lesbian at the start of 2025. We’re both 42 now and we’re together for nearly 17 years.
I wanted no contact with her. Which I’ve been able to avoid her relatively well – my family had a relationship with her which I can’t avoid (their excuse is that she’s been in their lives so long she’s part of the family herself) but it hasn’t affected me up until now.
My ex and her own family always got along and I had a great relationship with them myself. Particularly her mum. When she came out, they all fell out and they disowned her (they’re from a Caribbean background so there’s an element of homophobia there).
The original plan for Christmas/New Year was that I was going to spend the time at my folk’s. It would have been nice after the year I’ve had. But at the start of December, my mum told me she spoke to my ex and she had no one to spend Christmas with so she invited her to have dinner with us. I wasn’t happy with that at all and my mum basically said she hates the thought of someone having no one at Christmas. So I said I don’t think I want to go and I’d rather spend Christmas on my own. She thought I was being dramatic.
I not long Fter that received a Xmas card from my ex in-laws so I rang them and thanked them. It was lovely to catch up and my ex mil asked me what I’m doing for Christmas. I said about my situation and I don’t think I am going to my folk’s and she invited me to spend Christmas with them and said I’m always welcome. I said why not and I’d go and stay with them.
I told my mum s few days before I’m definitely not going and she was gutted, saying I should reconsider. I went to my ex’s family and I had a great time. They made proper Caribbean food (curry goat) and I enjoyed their company. I enjoyed it so much that I stayed until new year. I’m definitely going to stay in contact. I even reconnected with my ex Sister In Law while I was there. I dare say there was a bit of flirtation there but I didn’t act on it (although I still might, the years young yet – she did give me her number and said we can go out anytime).
When I got back home yesterday, my mum was angry with me. She said I ruined Christmas and I was a bad person for spending time with people like my ex in-laws. Apparently loads of people in my family aren’t happy with me too.
AITAH for spending time with my ex in-laws over my own family because they invited my ex?
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