AITA for wanting to tell my partner I no longer want to attend her family Christmas?
I have been with my partner for nearly 8 years (both F mid 30s.)
when we first got together she did not tell her family about me until around the 6 month mark because she didn’t want backlash. Once they did find out about me, they didn’t want to meet me for another 4 months. Therefore, I was not invited to their Christmas party during our first year together. Over the years i was finally invited to their family Christmas. Everyone in their family gets stockings from her mom. My first Christmas with them I did get a stocking (with no name on it). I was just happy to be invited and to get a stocking. I will say that my partners sister met her now husband around the same time that I met my partner. His (and his kids) stockings did have their names on their stockings. It has now been almost 8 years that I have been with my partner. I still have the same stocking with no name on it. Everyone else has a stocking with their names written in glitter pen, even the dogs. I was sick on Christmas day so I didn’t make it to the party this year. I went to their house today to open my gifts with them. Once I handed my stocking back to her mom, i told her “thank you”. She said “you’re welcome” then proceeded to take my stocking over to where they hung up the dogs stockings that have passed away. All of the other stocks with names on them were hung up on the fireplace. It made me feel expendable, disposal, and that I would never be part of their family. I know this may seem small to some people or some might say so what Christmas is over, but I have always felt like I will never be truly part of their family. I have tried to always make myself small anytime I go with her to visit them. Try to never say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t “bad” people. They give me enough respect and honesty for the most part they have always been nice to me. There have just always been little things like this that always make me feel like I will never truly fit in. So AITA?
Yes- we have lived together for the last 7 years
Yes- I have brought this to my partners attention, as well as other issues. She says they do think of me as family, but it’s clear to see they think of me as a guest in their home. Not family.
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