This Woman is Being Called “Selfish” for Stopping Her Breast Milk Donations to Her Sister After a Stillbirth and We Are Absolutely Reeling
There are times when the internet delivers a story so heartbreaking and simultaneously infuriating that you have to take a lap around the house just to process it. We usually love a story about sisters supporting sisters, but this latest Reddit saga has officially crossed the line into “horror movie” territory. Imagine going through the most devastating loss a parent can face—a stillbirth—and then being guilt-tripped into acting as a literal milk machine for the sister who just had a healthy baby. We are officially done with the internet for today.
The Original Poster (OP) is twenty-eight years old and suffered a stillbirth recently. In a cruel twist of biology, her body did what bodies do after birth, and she began producing milk. At the same time, her sister gave birth to a healthy baby boy but struggled with breastfeeding. Because of the terrifying formula shortage, the OP didn’t want her milk to go to waste, so she stepped up in the middle of her own grief to feed her nephew. It was a beautiful, selfless act during a time when she should have been focused entirely on her own healing.
Her doctors originally told her to pump for only three weeks to avoid medical complications and then stop so her supply would dry up. But because she’s an actual saint, she pushed through for five weeks to help her sister. Now that the formula shortage has eased up and her sister has a supply of food, the OP finally set a boundary. She told her sister she was done pumping because, honestly, she emotionally cannot handle the constant, physical reminder of the baby she didn’t get to bring home.
Instead of saying “thank you for literally keeping my child fed while your heart was breaking,” the sister chose the path of total villainy. She told the OP she was being selfish. She even complained about having to bottle-feed her son because—get this—she had actually suggested that the OP just nurse the baby directly. Can you imagine the sheer, unmitigated gall it takes to ask your sister, who just lost her own child, to put your baby to her breast because it’s “easier” for you?
The sister’s “logic” is that breast milk is the healthiest option, so the OP should just keep suffering for the sake of the nephew. She even threw out the phrase “misery loves company,” accusing the OP of wanting her nephew to be less healthy just because her own baby passed away. It is the most disgusting, low-blow comment we have ever seen in the history of family drama. To imply that a grieving mother is trying to “k!ll” the joy of a new baby by simply wanting her own body back is pure sh!t behavior.
Even worse, the OP’s mother is siding with the sister, claiming she should “help her own sister out.” This is why boundaries are so important, people! Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you are obligated to do it at the expense of your own mental health. The OP is being treated like a utility instead of a human being who is currently in the middle of a life-shattering trauma.
The husband is the only one in this story with a working moral compass. He told her that her sister is way out of line, and he is 100% correct. Pumping milk is an exhausting, time-consuming, and deeply emotional process. When you are doing it for a child that isn’t yours, while mourning the one that should have been yours, it is an act of heroic proportions. The fact that she did it for five weeks is a miracle; the fact that they are demanding a sixth is a crime.
The sister is hiding behind the “breast is best” argument to justify her own entitlement. Yes, breast milk is great, but a healthy, sane aunt who isn’t being exploited by her family is also pretty great for a child’s life. The sister has formula. The baby will be fed. The only thing at stake here is the sister’s convenience and her weird obsession with having a “wet nurse” next door.
If this were a movie, the sister would be the one everyone hissed at in the theater. To call a woman “selfish” for needing to stop a physical process that reminds her of her dead child every few hours is a level of b!tch behavior that is hard to forgive. The OP doesn’t owe her sister her body, her time, or her grief. She has already given more than enough.
So, to the OP: please listen to your husband and stop. Do not apologize, do not pump for “a few more days,” and do not let your mother make you feel like a bad sister. You are a grieving mother who did something incredible for your nephew. If your sister can’t see that, she’s the one who is the ahole. You deserve to heal in peace, without a pump or a guilt-trip in sight.
What is the most “entitled” thing a family member has ever asked of you during a hard time? Would you have been able to pump for even one day in this situation, or would you have shut that sh!t down immediately? Let us know in the comments, and go give your supportive partners a hug today.
