AITAH if I cancel on my Dad’s 60th birthday dinner because I can’t be around his wife?
Please read the context – Am I the asshole if I cancel on my Dad’s 60th birthday dinner because the dynamic between me and his wife is diabolical. I want to cancel on attending his birthday dinner and do something seperate just between my Dad and I, and celebrate separately just us. Essentially my Dad’s wife has known me nearly my whole life, she has always been horrible to me, ignored me most of my childhood and now as an adult has virtually no interest in me or my life, she barely even knows what I do for work. To add insult to injury I’m estranged from my own mom due to abuse, so I’ve really lucked out in the mom / step mom department. She’s rude and makes negative comments all the time, I’ve been consistent with my relationship and contact with my Dad and his other children, whom I love, but the wife has always been a major issue. The relationship has gotten so bad this year we don’t even speak when in the same room or at the same table together, it’s unbearable. My Dad has always taken her side, so I’ve given up in that respect and frankly don’t care anymore I can’t be apart of this dynamic any longer. I’m nearly 30 and I want my relationships with my Dad and siblings, which are pretty good, to be seperate and away from her and their family home. She’s too toxic to be around and I can’t bear spending any more time with her, I feel anxious and horrible around her. Would it be so bad if I cancel on this dinner and suggest a seperate celebration or drink with my Dad?
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